The land of Cleve

I am immensely tired. But that's when all the good blogs are written, right?
I am becoming depressed, and normally you would think it would be caused with my continuing struggles with school, my dead-end job, or my withdrawal from softball (it's been less than 24 hours since I last played) But actually, it's the Cleveland sports scene that's killing me. I've never seen a city so devoid of hope (i've never been to kansas city) The indians were sooooooo disappointing. I banked on them making the playoffs, so I invested in a 20 game season ticket plan with my dad. Needless to say: NOT WORTH IT. It's actually so not worth it, i'm considering of doing it again. But this time with a couple mroe people. The indians are there again. They seem to be on the doorstep of greatness, but everything hinges on the moves they make this off season. I can barely stand to wait. Even though, I feel like the continuing excuse of being a "small market team" is kind of wearing thin. They need to make a big splash! Not just this, bid on the guys coming from injury who might return to there once great form. (Millwood worked out nicely, Aaron Boone did not) So, as the season dwindles, you can just sense the lack of energy coming from this team. Even with the young guys, they are playing lethargic. The last game I went to felt like a funeral. There was no energy, no excitement. The Twins fans were louder than we were.
The Browns 0-2, and I am starting to reseach if there has ever been a team to finish the season at 0-16. If this happens, I would blame this mostly on the AFC North, but the Browns alraedy lost one of maybe 2 games they'll actually be favored. The good thing going for them is, home field advantage might actually mean something. I'll be at the Pittsburgh game and the Kansas City game. Which are both later in the year. So hopefully we'll see that improvement that the press and coaches talked about at the beginning of the season. However, I want to attribute the current browns situation on poor personnel decisions (players) and on a terrible offensive coordinator. No offense, but Carthon is not any good at his job. Actually, I did mean offense, Carthon, you're terrible at your job. You might want to start looking for something to fall back on. You're not going to last through this season.
The Cavs are a bright spot on the scene but only because of Lebron. I liked the draft, didn't like the off season moves. I'm still waiting for Ferry to make a trade that I can say "Hell yes! The man is a genius!" We'll see!
That's the other thing, Shapiro, Savage, and Ferry are all touted as sharp minds with an eye for scouting and sooooooooooooooooo far, i would say it's been wholly unsatisfying on the jobs they have done collectively. I personally think Cleveland sportsfans deserve better. We ever deserve better sportswrites! But I won't go into that right now.
And now I sleep!

Last post was my 50th and I didn't even celebrate!!!!

SO, i'm averaging roughly 4 posts a month, figuring I've been doing this about a year and 50/12 = 4.somedecimal Just some mroe random math.
I wanted to post today, but I don't really have much to add. I rode my dad's bike to get my hair cut. This thing is old school. I think he looks pretty goofy on it, but atleast he's doing something he loves. I just felt like an idiot. And the girl who cut my hair saw me, and kind of made fun of me. But I totally felt like my dad. And I think i am going to inevitably become him. For better or worse, and I don't know which yet.
I kind of fell asleep and didn't wake up for class. Work was insanely rough! And I stayed extra to make up for all these "priorities" and it just drained me. I am still physically tired from it, even after getting some sleep.
Got to catch up with Ms. Mackay today. She's back in town after spending a long time in chicago. Always good to have new/newer faces to chat with.
It's raining alot, which I don't really mind. The time off from softball will allow my quad/hamstring injury time to rest. I just couldn't not play in the playoffs.
And rain is very soothing. Fun to listen to, watch a storm. That's why I'm a big fan of balconies! all right, no more ramblings.
good night!

i wanna new job

So,
third shift transition has been decent, but I'm at the point with my workplace, that it's starting to spread me thin. I'm working for a company that can make no promises towards future employment and benefits, yet they want to work me to the bone, they want me to put in endless hours of overtime, and at a certain point it needs to stop.
Well, school has definitely brought me to that point a lot quicker then I expected. But I also don't have options right now. I feel virtually worthless in today's job market. And I wouldn't know how to sell myself. I definitely need to work on that. But on top of that, I need the money for school and all the other financial obligations I'm tied into.
Work has been especially bad of late. Mainly because the lady I've worked with the last 9 months or so is on medical leave indefinitely, and I am helping to shoulder the load with another guy, who has worked for the company, but is new to our equipment. On top of this, the work we do is sent down by a team of people who have too much work as it is. 3-4 people would have full schedules with this work, let alone just the two of us trying to keep up. And since I'm trying to stay on top of school, I'm not really working any overtime, which means we can't catch up.
And I can tell that this is bugging my because I'm typing fast and making a lot of typos, and I get angry when I have to go back and correct them. Whoooooooooooooo, do I need to relax. Anger management is something I'm working on. Mainly because I get angry over stuff I can not control. I would like to adopt a more balanced, peaceful approach. So that is was I'm trying. Don't let my emotions get the best of me.
So needless to say, I'm on a job search with very few weapons, but I will re-work my resume, and search for new opportunities that will work around school. But it'll be a long drawn out process.
And by the way, if anyone reads this anymore, and also reads Vanessa's blog: her's is more what I was aiming for in the term of blogs when I started. Except that didn't happen, and I've let it become more of a personal venting area, which, seems to be what blogs are popular for, but I don't like. I don't want to bitch to the world of strangers out there. but yet I do. how did I get here, and it's time to reflect. i doubt i'll change though

Dance the night away

I guess, one of the things in life that I've been missing most is finding things that truly make me happy. Or just recognizing what really makes me feel good, or is something that I really want to be doing. Well, this time, i found one. I don't really know why necessarily, but I always have a good time swing dancing. So, i'm going to make it a focus to go much more regularly. I had a phenomenal time last night swing dancing. It's fin when we have a decent group. Me, John, and Monica are pretty much the regulars. But Ryan, Susan, and Liz went last night. It's always fun to add mroe people to the gang, or even just have "weekly special guests" Just to get new faces and interact with more people. Last night was particularly good because I felt a lot more comfortable leading, and definitely a lot more comfortable stayin gon the beat. I definitely do not have a strong sense of rhythm, and tend to lose the beat at times, but for the most part i can recover. And aslong as I am improving from week to week, I'd have to say i'm pretty happy. I am always trying to add new moves to the repoitoire (spelling? I don't use spell check, i'll let you guys be my spell check) We learned free spins last night, it was pretty basic, but I feel like that's a big jump between bad dancer and good dancer. Like I was telling Liz, i have felt most like, you really have to trust yourself and your dancing to do the free spins because you have to catch your partner or disastrous things could happen. And i've felt up to this point, i almost have to cling to my partner so that doesn't happen. And clinging is never good. except when you are hanging from a tree branch over a 300 ft drop. But that's still not really good, just a better alternative to falling.
Andway, so swing dancing is a good time, if you saw me in a club trying to do that kind of dancing, I would be miserable! And most other forms of dancing, but this one, this one I like. And I can tell because I just ramble on and on about it, and pretty soon I have way to omuch written about a pretty pointless subject!
so if you are up for swing dancing, let me or john now. The next event is Sept. 30th at the Bohemian Hall.