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Good news! I got a 95/100 on my sociology exam. WIth the free 6 points she was handing out that brings the tally up to 101. Hot damn! The sad part is i really feel like i don't deserve it. I didn't do the work, i missed some classes, and I was willing to accept whatever a last minute cram would get me. I don't know how or why, but it got me an A. A similar thing happen on my math test. I don't know what to say, maybe just accept it and vow to try harder?? Either way, right now, i am doing well in my classes. Good for me!
I am a big fan of the Onion. FOr some reason I've always had an affinity for stuff like that, fake news or twists on real news to make them hilarious. I'm also a big fan of the special sections, always reading the horroscopes and infographics. Overall it's pretty well done, and you can find some gems in the archives. I wish I could remember who introduced me to the Onion, because I need to thank them for it. I haven't stayed up to date with it as much as I used to, but there's usually a good read if you are ever feeling down.
This weekend should be blast. Toledo on Friday, then Cedar Point on Sarturday. A lot of driving, but it'll all be worth it in the long run. Definitely a unique group headed to cedar point, not so much the regulars as more of a chance to chat up some people I don't get to see so much. I am hoping that the miserable weather today = no softball tonight. I seem to be trying to avoid it more and more. Not necessarily avoid it, but I am ready for a break. I need the off season to come so my body to rest up (no, it's not that rigorous, I am just outta shape) And also the opportunity to do stuff with more free time. Maybe my homework, probably a lot more weekend travels. And who knows what else. Will I actually start bagpiping again. It would help if I had a place where I Could be loud. BUt I don't. And I need more music! AN instructor would help. Ayiyiyi! I want to be good at it, but i haven't created that opportunity. I put it off.
I could go for some basketball, alas, too much time and i just can't make that commitment. LAst year, I enjoyed even though there was a lot I hated about it. A LOT! I am terrible at basketball, i will never be on a championship basketball team unless I am logging 0 minutes. Or I am a mop up for blowouts, so our stars don't get hurt.
I am trying to push for a dress up night at Swing dancing on OCt. 28. Like real swing dancers from the 20s or 40s or whenever. I am thinking suspenders and a fancy hat will be my look. I've been trying to find photos online but there are limited resources. That might be because of my limited knowledge of using search engines. It's always fun to play dress up. THere's just something about trying to look good that boosts the ego, even if you don't. Atleast you can pretend in your little land of make believe. I've been told I "clean up" nice. And I've determined after an intensive scientific study, that I set the standard so low with how I usually dress and maintain my hair/looks that I probably look 100 times better just by taking a shower. Gross, I know! I wanna be a supermodel.
I want a laptop to call my own. One of those things, I can find 100 reasons to have, but know that i won't get my money's worth. Unless I actually went into film production. I try to think of having one and doing stuff on my own. But I think I would feel stupid making movies for no reason. I guess maybe the humorous stuff I could put on youtube and want not. But even more serious stuff. I would want to do, i feel weird carrying around a photo camera let alone a video camera. I don't want to be that guy, but I would have to be. Just have to! So the debate goes on. Oh did I menton i don't have the money for it. BUt in a world of endless credit......
Does anyone else see photos of themselves and just go "That's what I look like" Here I'm not saying is much in a bad, low self esteem sense. I think what happens is you see the photograph and it's missing what you are use to. That first person view, I also attribute it to 'stream of conciousness' even when you look in a mirrow and see yourself, you are not isolated from your thoughts. So a photograph is going to be the closest you get to knowing how others perceive you. So maybe it's a bad thing that when I look at photographs of myself I see this completely foreign object??
How do you open up to people. I want to b open and honest and share my thoughts (all of which I do fairly well hear, if you consider not talking about anything important in that category) But i still feel like i hold stuff back always, i prevent myself from making any deep connection. And I don't know how to fix that. This is more than just like boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. This is just that awesome relationship you can have with another person where it's like you are on the same wavelength. That understanding, i think i am very defensive about my emotions and thoughts. I am terrible at defending the way I think, but I don't think that makes me wrong. I could be, but it doesn't help that even when I am right, I look wrong.
There are more of my musings. I'll stop here, although I do feel like turning this into a marathon. Just keep going until i have no more. I'll be back soon though! I promise