So,
The legend of the rent was way past due!!!!!!!!!
School is winding down. I need to get these two group projects outta the way. One final, then some free time! Time to catch up on sleep, hibernate, if you will. I have been storing fat all summer for this moment.
This weekend is another action packed non-stop keep your feet moving drama. Kicking the festivities off with dinner and Transiberian Orchestra tonight with Monica, John, and Liz. We'll see what happens afterwards, but I'm thinking of trying to pull a 'Hey, I haven't been to Applebee's for half-priced appetizers in 3 months' line. I'm psyched for the concert, but right now I can not feel any emotion because of how tired i am.
Saturday, I'll be picking up a couple hours at work, from 8am-12pm. Which will be good cause I missed some days that I don't get paid for. Sadness! And then Katie Heemstra will be in town, so a group, me, ryan, tom, megan, john will be meeting her for lunch around 12:30pm. And after that, I got nothing right now. I'm sure something will come up. Sleep would be good!
The fun does not stop there!
Sunday is the Browns game! So John and I are going to watch the Chiefs maul the Browns. (I'm still cheering for the Browns, i just expect Larry Johnson to have a career day.) I used the old barter system. I'll give you a Browns ticket and some cash for a Siberian Orchestra ticket. Works out pretty nicely! And then back to work on sunday, which shouldn't be to bad because equipment in the room is going to be down. I'm not sure what i'll be able to do.
I am addicted to facebook. I really can't stop. I joined inadvertantly to share some pictures ryan posted, and now I have like 30 friends! It's a good connection to wooster friends.
But facebook is also for stalkers!
i'm off to class for now, but hopefully an update on how the weekend went will follow!
school is winding down!
wish me luck!
11.30.2006
My Music Theory
So, since i know one person wants me to expound here it is, completely unplugged, unedited, and it'll be a ramble, and may go places you don't like. But I'm taking it there!
Music is so very important to me. It's kind of hard to describe. It's not like "Hey, who's this band? What song is this? I need it!" I don't go searching for new stuff, I'm not looking for the next big thing, i just want something to listen to. I'm not in it for that kind of stuff.
Simply put, I think music is my closest connection to spirituality. That sounds pretty heavy, and it probably is. But I just feel that without music my life would be incomplete. I need it. It's absolutely perfect when you hear the song that complements your mood. There is nothing like it! It has the power to control your emotions. When I'm up, I want cheery poppy stuff. When I'm down I want dark and angry! When I'm light hearted i want something goofy, and when I'm sad i want a deep bellowing somber tune. Have to have it. I find comfort in it, it enhances my mood. For better or for worse.
I think music is an outlet for me. A place of comfort. As far as being 'spiritual' about it. I think it just delves so deep into my being that it takes on a new meaning. Not that every song or everytime i listen to music it is. But there are times, when I need it.
THe funny thing is, the only time I remember paying attention in church or being awake and alert is to sing. I would sleep through the readings, the homily what? it's time for communion?? Yikes! But I would be singing the songs with passion and energy. Because it was singing!
That's the other thing that comes with music, i enjoy listening to it, but I really don't know what I'd do if I couldn't create. (note to readers: yes, unfortunately I am considering my singing 'making music')
I can't sing. I occassionally am on tune, but never for an entire song. I get made fun of for it, and I am fine with that. I still am going to sing. Just to warn you, cause it delves back into that outlet of emotion, whatever i'm feeling can come out in song.I need to be able to sing.
ANd playing an instrument is also a good way. The bagpipe isn't the most musical instrument, but it has it's power. It's the reason people want it played at their funerals. It is so strong, a comfort! I wish I was on the listening side more than on the playing. Cause it offers strength and beauty to the mourners. And it feels good, it's an honor to be able to provide that service for them.
I could be a lot better at the bagpipes, but I am not. That is a problem! Cause it all comes down to the music.
I really feel like i haven't even done this post justice. I could go on about certain songs that i am not the same since I've heard them. But I have to get ready for class. There is more I could just babble about. Maybe some more later.
So there you have it, if you can't discern how much music means to me in my lifetime, then this blog was a waste.
and i'm spent
Music is so very important to me. It's kind of hard to describe. It's not like "Hey, who's this band? What song is this? I need it!" I don't go searching for new stuff, I'm not looking for the next big thing, i just want something to listen to. I'm not in it for that kind of stuff.
Simply put, I think music is my closest connection to spirituality. That sounds pretty heavy, and it probably is. But I just feel that without music my life would be incomplete. I need it. It's absolutely perfect when you hear the song that complements your mood. There is nothing like it! It has the power to control your emotions. When I'm up, I want cheery poppy stuff. When I'm down I want dark and angry! When I'm light hearted i want something goofy, and when I'm sad i want a deep bellowing somber tune. Have to have it. I find comfort in it, it enhances my mood. For better or for worse.
I think music is an outlet for me. A place of comfort. As far as being 'spiritual' about it. I think it just delves so deep into my being that it takes on a new meaning. Not that every song or everytime i listen to music it is. But there are times, when I need it.
THe funny thing is, the only time I remember paying attention in church or being awake and alert is to sing. I would sleep through the readings, the homily
That's the other thing that comes with music, i enjoy listening to it, but I really don't know what I'd do if I couldn't create. (note to readers: yes, unfortunately I am considering my singing 'making music')
I can't sing. I occassionally am on tune, but never for an entire song. I get made fun of for it, and I am fine with that. I still am going to sing. Just to warn you, cause it delves back into that outlet of emotion, whatever i'm feeling can come out in song.I need to be able to sing.
ANd playing an instrument is also a good way. The bagpipe isn't the most musical instrument, but it has it's power. It's the reason people want it played at their funerals. It is so strong, a comfort! I wish I was on the listening side more than on the playing. Cause it offers strength and beauty to the mourners. And it feels good, it's an honor to be able to provide that service for them.
I could be a lot better at the bagpipes, but I am not. That is a problem! Cause it all comes down to the music.
I really feel like i haven't even done this post justice. I could go on about certain songs that i am not the same since I've heard them. But I have to get ready for class. There is more I could just babble about. Maybe some more later.
So there you have it, if you can't discern how much music means to me in my lifetime, then this blog was a waste.
and i'm spent
11.29.2006
Too much turkey and NYC
So thanksgiving was good to see the family, hang out, binge eat. I have many thanks to give, it was a good time had by all, and was only cut short by a whirlwind tour of NYC for four days.
Ryan, Steve, Danny, and I loaded up my little lumina and headed East to spend the rest of break with Morgan, who attends NYU there for acting school. The trip was phenomenal and was never lacking in ridiculousness. We were out of control! THe roadtrip was good bonding, story-telling, and just general trouble making. Other then the fog denser than campbell's soup, we had a smooth drive.
Upon arriving in NYC bright and early friday morning, I had to wake up Erin so I could park my car in NJ, she was kind enough to let us leave it in her care, while we commuted about the big city. SHe loaded us up on a bus and we were on our way.
THe city is crazy, and it was even crazier cause it was 'black friday' People were everywhere, I was stepping on little kids left and right. We unloaded out stuff at morgan's dorm and hit the town. Most of the trip was all about eating, but the first day we walked about Times Square and the Broadway region. Swung into the NBC studios, checked out the plaza (whose name eludes me) and watched the figure skaters. We debated about which broadway show to see and finally settled on "Spring Awakenings". Which had just hit broadway. So we planned for that on Friday night.
I hit up PluckU to get some much anticipated wings cause Morgan had talked them up. They were pretty good, but I think the novelty of the name is worth more than the actual wings themselves.
Stephen and Morgan were insanely obsessed with 'Hitch' so everything in that movie we had to see "Rags to Riches", The Merril Lynch Bull. Could not escape that movie!
So we rested up for broadway and went to see the show. I was not a big fan of the show, although I think everyone else liked it. I felt they had a lot of talent, very goo voices, but the first act really lacked any semblance of a storyline or a point. The second act picked up the pace and I definitely perked up in my seat a bit more. I feel that the lyrics were rather silly at times and most of music didn't really convey the emotion or added to the storyline. Overall I'd have to rate it average. Not bad, just not that good.
Dinner on friday was really good. We went to an Italian palce that serves by course, So a bottle of wine and 3 courses later were were stuffed and ready for broadway! It was a meal of fresh mozzarella, stuffed mushrooms, some thing, and roasted red peppers, and the main course was three different pastas including rigitoni and tortellini. The tortellini was the best!
After that, we headed back, me, ryan, danny met up with Erin and Matt (ameriBuddies) at a bar and I got to chat with them and catch up, which was an awesome time. Since my team pretty much became my family for 10 months, it was like catching up with sister and brother (who happen to be dating, incestuous!)
Saturday started off good after a long sleep on the cold cold floor. We hit the town and walked along the Hudson, could the Lady Liberty. And the weather was absolutely gorgeous!
We stopped by the Irish Famine Heritage Memorial, which was interesting to see. Walked around Battery Park, and rode the Merrill Lynch Bull. There were a lot of Asian Tourists who were have a blast touching the Bull's testicles. I really wish I could have understood what they were saying. Steve stuck his head up the bull's ass, which I think is a fitting place for him. Made for a good picture.
Then we continued on to Central Park where we spent the majority of the day! Climbing on rocks watching ice skaters, runnign around pretending to be a boy band. PLaying on the playground. Ryan lost his wallet and somehow the people got ahold of the bank who got a hold of his mom who got a hold of him, and he met up with the people and retrieved completely intact. not bad for NYC! Then we set up for dinner
For dinner we added some ladies, Kylie, my sister's friend and former roommate from ND, and Courtney who is Morgan's girlfriend. We hit up a very posh thai restaurant 'Spice' We got the basement to ourselves, and dined like VIPs. The food was really good. I had duck lettuce wraps which were delcious, and topped it off with a little pad thai. And then dessert, we went to Max Brenner's OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I do not get excited for dessert, but this place was good! soooo good! I had tiny waffles with fresh fruit, ice cream, and chocoloate sauce. Heavely goodness! And everyone's food looked good.
Sunday we ate at a bakery and headed off. The road trip back was less eventually cause we were all really tired. but other then heavy traffic here and there, it went smoothly.
Over all the trip was unforgettable! I love NYC, and I don't normally advocate for big city living, but I'll take it! If you want to see pictures Ryan has a ton on his Facebook site. Good luck figuring that one out!
i will blog about more in the coming days!
I hope everyone's thanksgiving weekend was as good as mine!!
ciao
Ryan, Steve, Danny, and I loaded up my little lumina and headed East to spend the rest of break with Morgan, who attends NYU there for acting school. The trip was phenomenal and was never lacking in ridiculousness. We were out of control! THe roadtrip was good bonding, story-telling, and just general trouble making. Other then the fog denser than campbell's soup, we had a smooth drive.
Upon arriving in NYC bright and early friday morning, I had to wake up Erin so I could park my car in NJ, she was kind enough to let us leave it in her care, while we commuted about the big city. SHe loaded us up on a bus and we were on our way.
THe city is crazy, and it was even crazier cause it was 'black friday' People were everywhere, I was stepping on little kids left and right. We unloaded out stuff at morgan's dorm and hit the town. Most of the trip was all about eating, but the first day we walked about Times Square and the Broadway region. Swung into the NBC studios, checked out the plaza (whose name eludes me) and watched the figure skaters. We debated about which broadway show to see and finally settled on "Spring Awakenings". Which had just hit broadway. So we planned for that on Friday night.
I hit up PluckU to get some much anticipated wings cause Morgan had talked them up. They were pretty good, but I think the novelty of the name is worth more than the actual wings themselves.
Stephen and Morgan were insanely obsessed with 'Hitch' so everything in that movie we had to see "Rags to Riches", The Merril Lynch Bull. Could not escape that movie!
So we rested up for broadway and went to see the show. I was not a big fan of the show, although I think everyone else liked it. I felt they had a lot of talent, very goo voices, but the first act really lacked any semblance of a storyline or a point. The second act picked up the pace and I definitely perked up in my seat a bit more. I feel that the lyrics were rather silly at times and most of music didn't really convey the emotion or added to the storyline. Overall I'd have to rate it average. Not bad, just not that good.
Dinner on friday was really good. We went to an Italian palce that serves by course, So a bottle of wine and 3 courses later were were stuffed and ready for broadway! It was a meal of fresh mozzarella, stuffed mushrooms, some thing, and roasted red peppers, and the main course was three different pastas including rigitoni and tortellini. The tortellini was the best!
After that, we headed back, me, ryan, danny met up with Erin and Matt (ameriBuddies) at a bar and I got to chat with them and catch up, which was an awesome time. Since my team pretty much became my family for 10 months, it was like catching up with sister and brother (who happen to be dating, incestuous!)
Saturday started off good after a long sleep on the cold cold floor. We hit the town and walked along the Hudson, could the Lady Liberty. And the weather was absolutely gorgeous!
We stopped by the Irish Famine Heritage Memorial, which was interesting to see. Walked around Battery Park, and rode the Merrill Lynch Bull. There were a lot of Asian Tourists who were have a blast touching the Bull's testicles. I really wish I could have understood what they were saying. Steve stuck his head up the bull's ass, which I think is a fitting place for him. Made for a good picture.
Then we continued on to Central Park where we spent the majority of the day! Climbing on rocks watching ice skaters, runnign around pretending to be a boy band. PLaying on the playground. Ryan lost his wallet and somehow the people got ahold of the bank who got a hold of his mom who got a hold of him, and he met up with the people and retrieved completely intact. not bad for NYC! Then we set up for dinner
For dinner we added some ladies, Kylie, my sister's friend and former roommate from ND, and Courtney who is Morgan's girlfriend. We hit up a very posh thai restaurant 'Spice' We got the basement to ourselves, and dined like VIPs. The food was really good. I had duck lettuce wraps which were delcious, and topped it off with a little pad thai. And then dessert, we went to Max Brenner's OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I do not get excited for dessert, but this place was good! soooo good! I had tiny waffles with fresh fruit, ice cream, and chocoloate sauce. Heavely goodness! And everyone's food looked good.
Sunday we ate at a bakery and headed off. The road trip back was less eventually cause we were all really tired. but other then heavy traffic here and there, it went smoothly.
Over all the trip was unforgettable! I love NYC, and I don't normally advocate for big city living, but I'll take it! If you want to see pictures Ryan has a ton on his Facebook site. Good luck figuring that one out!
i will blog about more in the coming days!
I hope everyone's thanksgiving weekend was as good as mine!!
ciao
11.20.2006
Phenomenal!
So, I just went through the process of revamping my blog! Very impressive! I just kind of wish I could remove my email address from the blog. But it's not a big deal. I'd just like that option!
On with the real deal:
I had a phenomenal weekend! My weekends have been action packed as of late, and it looks like it'll only be getting better! Especially with the holidays and all the crazy goings on and people in town.
I got to help Erin and Nora warm their house! That was a fun party, played some euchre! Ate some spanakopita! Delicious, and got to see the family! Then I went to see a strange movie, but it was pretty entertaining. 'Happy Feet' is definitely someone's artistic expression. The story was pretty good, and I was rolling around in my seat. But the ending was a bit weird, and it got all enviromental on us, which didn't seem to fit the general theme. It just kind of went there, but not very well. Also, I had an entire bucket of popcorn dumped on me! That was a fun time!
OSU won! yes! Closer then I thought is would be, but still agreat game! Then, headed over to Susan's to play hours of board games. We had a good crowd, plenty of snacks, and a good time. I think we had 11-12 people, which was impressive!
I had tickets to the Steelers/Browns game. Went with little bro, and the game was good except for the ending when we lost. And normally I would accept that, but not with the Steelers! No way no how. They needed to win that game for the fans! That was ridiculous! Screw Roethlisburger! Screw Cowher! Screw PITTSBURGH!!!
Next weekend: Thanksgiving and New York! I pretty much have a week off! Which will be wonderful rest!
The following weekend: TransSiberian Orchestra and the Browns/Chiefs game! We'll see what else I'll be able to fit in.
The Hoidays are here, let the games begin!
On with the real deal:
I had a phenomenal weekend! My weekends have been action packed as of late, and it looks like it'll only be getting better! Especially with the holidays and all the crazy goings on and people in town.
I got to help Erin and Nora warm their house! That was a fun party, played some euchre! Ate some spanakopita! Delicious, and got to see the family! Then I went to see a strange movie, but it was pretty entertaining. 'Happy Feet' is definitely someone's artistic expression. The story was pretty good, and I was rolling around in my seat. But the ending was a bit weird, and it got all enviromental on us, which didn't seem to fit the general theme. It just kind of went there, but not very well. Also, I had an entire bucket of popcorn dumped on me! That was a fun time!
OSU won! yes! Closer then I thought is would be, but still agreat game! Then, headed over to Susan's to play hours of board games. We had a good crowd, plenty of snacks, and a good time. I think we had 11-12 people, which was impressive!
I had tickets to the Steelers/Browns game. Went with little bro, and the game was good except for the ending when we lost. And normally I would accept that, but not with the Steelers! No way no how. They needed to win that game for the fans! That was ridiculous! Screw Roethlisburger! Screw Cowher! Screw PITTSBURGH!!!
Next weekend: Thanksgiving and New York! I pretty much have a week off! Which will be wonderful rest!
The following weekend: TransSiberian Orchestra and the Browns/Chiefs game! We'll see what else I'll be able to fit in.
The Hoidays are here, let the games begin!
11.15.2006
Radio failed me last night
So, I depend on the radio to get me through the night. It keeps my energy level up, especially when I can jus tbelt out any song I take a particular liking to. Well, last night was the first night my radio failed me! Music essentially touches the soul. It can invoke emotions, comfort, cheer us up, sympathize, or even be an outlet for anger. Last night, the music did not match my mood. I couldn't find a station! It was sad! When I was counting on it most, it failed me. I tried i tried, I was changing the station as often as I could, and still nothing. Sad sad! A couple good osngs came on, but those moments were fleeting. And so, my workday was ruined.
I will eventually get over it. But work could have been so much better last night! I would like to delve further into my philosophy on the power of music, but, you caught me at a bad time. Too tired, can barely form coherent sentences.
I will soon become a ghost for a while. Two projects, a test, and busy weekend are going to wear me thin! But it'll all be over in a month! And then winter break! I've never looked forward to winter break this much before!
New York t-minus 8 days and counting!
I will eventually get over it. But work could have been so much better last night! I would like to delve further into my philosophy on the power of music, but, you caught me at a bad time. Too tired, can barely form coherent sentences.
I will soon become a ghost for a while. Two projects, a test, and busy weekend are going to wear me thin! But it'll all be over in a month! And then winter break! I've never looked forward to winter break this much before!
New York t-minus 8 days and counting!
11.14.2006
I got my ass kicked by swing dancing!
So, I am still recovering from the weekend Tuesday morning, and this might take til Thanksgiving break to get back to good. The weekend was fantastic! Friday started out good cause I was treated to seeing my brother when I got back from work Thursday night/Friday morning. Then I caught some Z's, hung out til Liz picked me up, and off to Columbus! I got to see Riley and Amanda, who are both doing well. We went to the Rock Climbing Gym at OSU. They took there belay tests, and off we went. I reached the top of the wall twice, which I haven't really done before on a 30+ foot wall. Other then that it was a good activity to start my 'mini vacation' on. Meet up with the Aspiring lawyer, Aaron after that. Ate at this great pizza place, which the name eludes me, but has Dog in it. It comes highly recommended from me! Then played some pool and crashed at Aaron's. It was a good catch-up! Bummed around until swing dancing started, and then it was ALL OVER. It was cool because they were teaching Lindy, as I am well versed in East Coast (jitterbug?? maybe) this was new to me. I did all right, but i need a lot of work. The hardest part was, it was 8 hours of full on concentration. Trying to remember the moves they taught, and then trying to perfect them and get the timing right. Needless to say, I remember very little, but I have a decent intro to Lindy. I also get rather frustrated because there is no way to keep up with what they are teaching, so really you need to write stuff down, or have an excellent memory. I had neither pen or paper or that memory. Had a quick dinner break at a Chinese buffet, ehhhhhhhh, it was food. Then continued to dance the night way. There was definitely a high level of dancing going on. I felt a little out of place because of my limited skills and exposure to the true swing scene. The dance was better because I could pull out my patented moves and shake a little. The few times I ventured into Lindy I quickly lost the beat, or lost my partner, OOPS! And then after the dance, back to Charlie's place to play board games and eat. Except no one ate!
I didn't sleep well, I seem to have lost the ability to sleep long hours of time. So I was up early morning while everyone else slept in. I occupied my time by a) playing with the dog b) reading the Columbus newspaper c) sitting outside in the relatively warm weather d) I almost resorted to solitaire, but people got up by then. Played Mad Gab(s) which was a fun fun game. I had played the cards before, but not really with any rules. It was an interesting game and a good change of pace from Cranium and Apples to Apples. I am a game board fiend at times, sorry, part of my family tradition. Just steer clear of Scrabble at family functions, you'll get whooped. (not by me) Then we grabbed lunch at Quaker Steak and Lube!!! I love Louisiana Lickers!! Delicious! Then went for more swing dancing.
This was bad. Bad bad bad! I was not doing well, not picking up on the moves, and kind of beat up on myself because whoever happen to be my partner that rotation got stuck with SUCKINESS! But some of the moves we learned were pretty cool, if only I could put them into practice on the dance floor. I think I can add two of the movies for sure! But we'll see.
So after that I swore of sing dancing for atleast 24 hours, but it looks like it might be a little longer than that, but just because a lack of opportunities.
anyway, this isn't really where I wanted to go with the blog because overall I thought the weekend was super duper. Just a little rough, and this makes it sound like Hell! I would say it was somewhere in between Heaven and Purgatory.
That's all I got! I'll be doing lots of homework the next two weeks, so don't expect too many blogs. Maybe you make a specific request for a subject, I might humor you. Other than that, i'll see you when I see you!
I didn't sleep well, I seem to have lost the ability to sleep long hours of time. So I was up early morning while everyone else slept in. I occupied my time by a) playing with the dog b) reading the Columbus newspaper c) sitting outside in the relatively warm weather d) I almost resorted to solitaire, but people got up by then. Played Mad Gab(s) which was a fun fun game. I had played the cards before, but not really with any rules. It was an interesting game and a good change of pace from Cranium and Apples to Apples. I am a game board fiend at times, sorry, part of my family tradition. Just steer clear of Scrabble at family functions, you'll get whooped. (not by me) Then we grabbed lunch at Quaker Steak and Lube!!! I love Louisiana Lickers!! Delicious! Then went for more swing dancing.
This was bad. Bad bad bad! I was not doing well, not picking up on the moves, and kind of beat up on myself because whoever happen to be my partner that rotation got stuck with SUCKINESS! But some of the moves we learned were pretty cool, if only I could put them into practice on the dance floor. I think I can add two of the movies for sure! But we'll see.
So after that I swore of sing dancing for atleast 24 hours, but it looks like it might be a little longer than that, but just because a lack of opportunities.
anyway, this isn't really where I wanted to go with the blog because overall I thought the weekend was super duper. Just a little rough, and this makes it sound like Hell! I would say it was somewhere in between Heaven and Purgatory.
That's all I got! I'll be doing lots of homework the next two weeks, so don't expect too many blogs. Maybe you make a specific request for a subject, I might humor you. Other than that, i'll see you when I see you!
11.09.2006
habla espanol?
That's good, I don't. Well, maybe un pocito.
so the weekend is finally upon and I don't know if I'm ready for this. It's going to be non-stop action starting at 2pm. Getta see some woosta buddies on friday, then 2 days of pure swing dancing............. good good stuff. Hopefully, I will achieve a new level of swing dancing greatness (i'm not really all that great) but i can dream of being on dancing with the stars.
and again, i'm losing steam on this blog, just gonna chug through it.
so yeah, i'll have a super blog to post after this weekend, I promise.
Good night!
so the weekend is finally upon and I don't know if I'm ready for this. It's going to be non-stop action starting at 2pm. Getta see some woosta buddies on friday, then 2 days of pure swing dancing............. good good stuff. Hopefully, I will achieve a new level of swing dancing greatness (i'm not really all that great) but i can dream of being on dancing with the stars.
and again, i'm losing steam on this blog, just gonna chug through it.
so yeah, i'll have a super blog to post after this weekend, I promise.
Good night!
11.07.2006
If i were a puzzle.....
I am a big puzzle! Even to myself, one of these days...
the good news is i am slowly putting pieces into place. I actually feel like I'm going somewhere.
I did not get my two bits worth! First off, there was no shave, but the haircut!!!!!! ARGH! It's all gone! gone! I lose! GAME OVER PLAYER 1 My hair is way too short. That wasn't the plan, not to have it all gone! I know it was out of control and very very ugly, I'm trying to think about who I was told I look like (some complimentary some not so complimentary: Vince Vaugh, Cristopher Lloyd, Wolverine (HAA!) and probably some others that didn't stick in my brain. Now, I'm just your average joe, with my G.I. hiarcut. (no i didn't join the army) So, I'm sort of feeling like Samson, after typing this out I'm going to curl up into the fetal position a shed a tear for the small jungle that was taken off my head today.
And I think I have the same conversation with my barber every time I go.
Karaoke was friggin awesome! It would have been nice if we got to sit down, but the bar was crowded. I was thinking about singing 'Killing Me Softly' to see if I could clear out a table our two, but I didn't want to waste my chance at stardom! Hung out, played Poker the next day. I'm good. Atleast played well Saturday, I want to get so much better. Poker poker poker! Woot woot!
I want to make this longer, but I have errands to run, and then quality time with the floor.
There will be more later!
the good news is i am slowly putting pieces into place. I actually feel like I'm going somewhere.
I did not get my two bits worth! First off, there was no shave, but the haircut!!!!!! ARGH! It's all gone! gone! I lose! GAME OVER PLAYER 1 My hair is way too short. That wasn't the plan, not to have it all gone! I know it was out of control and very very ugly, I'm trying to think about who I was told I look like (some complimentary some not so complimentary: Vince Vaugh, Cristopher Lloyd, Wolverine (HAA!) and probably some others that didn't stick in my brain. Now, I'm just your average joe, with my G.I. hiarcut. (no i didn't join the army) So, I'm sort of feeling like Samson, after typing this out I'm going to curl up into the fetal position a shed a tear for the small jungle that was taken off my head today.
And I think I have the same conversation with my barber every time I go.
Karaoke was friggin awesome! It would have been nice if we got to sit down, but the bar was crowded. I was thinking about singing 'Killing Me Softly' to see if I could clear out a table our two, but I didn't want to waste my chance at stardom! Hung out, played Poker the next day. I'm good. Atleast played well Saturday, I want to get so much better. Poker poker poker! Woot woot!
I want to make this longer, but I have errands to run, and then quality time with the floor.
There will be more later!
11.02.2006
If you don't look close you might miss something
So I kind of wanted to keep typing but felt that that last blog needed a space of it's own. So here it a ramble:
I am officially looking for a new job. I can use any help I can get. I have worked on my resume. I actually met a kid in math class who is going to see what he can find at the Federal Building. How random is that. A) I'm excited cause I made a friend at school, which I have done since sophomore year at Wooster. And I have someone to work with, because my other group kind of ousted me because of a lack of communication. I feel kind of bad about it, but I really do have trouble associating with people on a professional level. Anyway, we were kind of chatting in the lab, and we talked about how we both are on 3rd shift and work ridiculous hours and trying to catch sleep where we can. And it's always good to have someone to commiserate with. So, yeah victory flag for making friends. Although I did find it odd he told me to bring a resume on friday and he'll turn it in. But I going to do it, so I hope he doesn't steal my identity. Not much to steal atleast. Suprise!!!!!!! You are $50000 in debt!! MWA HAA HAA Payback is a bitch!
ok, so I am really tired because I'll be typing and not looking at the screen just chugging along, and then I go back a read what I wrote and it has nothing to do with what I wanted to write. I mean like if I meant to write 'i went to school today.' it turns out 'the chicken has cold feet' I don't know what is wrong with me!
Karaoke: I love it, but I make people leave the bar. Seriously, that's how bad I am. I am all about personality and showmanship and nothing to do with singing on key. Here is a sort list that would be on my all time karaoke list:
Friends in Low Places (Can't go wrong crooning Garth Books while drinking beer)
I like Big Butts ( only singing about 50% of the words)
I Would Walk 500 Miles (i love that part that is just gibberish)
Come Sail Away ( no, I don't do the cartman voice)
Fat Bottom Girls (maybe I have an obsession with big butts)
When I think about you I touch myself (i have sent people to therapy with this one)
Killing Me Softly (strangely ironic)
So we'll be karaoking friday, and I think i will be relatively lame because I have people to impress. (i meant tame, the t key is no where near the L key, but I felt the need to not correct it and point it out) I am definitely trying to cut back on being completely utterly ridiculous, but it's SOOOOOOOOOO hard!
Columbus is on next weekend! Yay weekend of swing dancing!! I really want to be good! I aspire to be the guy every woman wants to dance with. And I just want to show them a good time and make them feel special. It's not really about me, it's about them. Cause every girl wants to dance, even if they don't admit it. Unless of course they are allergic. Does anyone want to dance?
I am running out of time. But I just wanted to add, after the last blog I wrote (maybe 25 minutes ago) I felt miserable. But this blog was much happier and I will have an extra bounce in my step as I trot to class, because I get excited thinking about how much fun I'll have karaoking and swing dancing!
Can't wait to crash on my bed!
G'night!
I am officially looking for a new job. I can use any help I can get. I have worked on my resume. I actually met a kid in math class who is going to see what he can find at the Federal Building. How random is that. A) I'm excited cause I made a friend at school, which I have done since sophomore year at Wooster. And I have someone to work with, because my other group kind of ousted me because of a lack of communication. I feel kind of bad about it, but I really do have trouble associating with people on a professional level. Anyway, we were kind of chatting in the lab, and we talked about how we both are on 3rd shift and work ridiculous hours and trying to catch sleep where we can. And it's always good to have someone to commiserate with. So, yeah victory flag for making friends. Although I did find it odd he told me to bring a resume on friday and he'll turn it in. But I going to do it, so I hope he doesn't steal my identity. Not much to steal atleast. Suprise!!!!!!! You are $50000 in debt!! MWA HAA HAA Payback is a bitch!
ok, so I am really tired because I'll be typing and not looking at the screen just chugging along, and then I go back a read what I wrote and it has nothing to do with what I wanted to write. I mean like if I meant to write 'i went to school today.' it turns out 'the chicken has cold feet' I don't know what is wrong with me!
Karaoke: I love it, but I make people leave the bar. Seriously, that's how bad I am. I am all about personality and showmanship and nothing to do with singing on key. Here is a sort list that would be on my all time karaoke list:
Friends in Low Places (Can't go wrong crooning Garth Books while drinking beer)
I like Big Butts ( only singing about 50% of the words)
I Would Walk 500 Miles (i love that part that is just gibberish)
Come Sail Away ( no, I don't do the cartman voice)
Fat Bottom Girls (maybe I have an obsession with big butts)
When I think about you I touch myself (i have sent people to therapy with this one)
Killing Me Softly (strangely ironic)
So we'll be karaoking friday, and I think i will be relatively lame because I have people to impress. (i meant tame, the t key is no where near the L key, but I felt the need to not correct it and point it out) I am definitely trying to cut back on being completely utterly ridiculous, but it's SOOOOOOOOOO hard!
Columbus is on next weekend! Yay weekend of swing dancing!! I really want to be good! I aspire to be the guy every woman wants to dance with. And I just want to show them a good time and make them feel special. It's not really about me, it's about them. Cause every girl wants to dance, even if they don't admit it. Unless of course they are allergic. Does anyone want to dance?
I am running out of time. But I just wanted to add, after the last blog I wrote (maybe 25 minutes ago) I felt miserable. But this blog was much happier and I will have an extra bounce in my step as I trot to class, because I get excited thinking about how much fun I'll have karaoking and swing dancing!
Can't wait to crash on my bed!
G'night!
Suppression
I have an hour to kill before class, and I can't work on my homework, because the math lab is currently in use, so I blog:
I for some reason have not learned to deal with my emotions (good thing I have 8.5 hours of mindless work to just ponder everything that is wrong with me) I am all backwards about it, and I really need to get that sort of stuff straightened out, because I don't want to be known as the overly-emotional guy who has no rational thought.
I tend to take things way too personal. I have a hard time removing emotion from situations that it should. Work is a good example, although I can't say I have any examples. I just feel there are times when I am waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too moody, and there is no reason to be. I let my emotions control me sometimes. Not good, not good. And there isn't exactly a class to teach you. So you learn through life?
I think logic plays into it a bit to. Or atleast, if I hold an opinion on something, and I am in a debate defending it and I can't, I get emotional. Usually when I know what I think/feel is right, but I can't convey that to the other person. Regardless of if that person is listening. It's frustrating when you can't get your point across! And so there have been times when I am questioning my logic because I can't defend it or explain it.
The other thing I do is hide my emotions. That's mainly when it comes to girls. I mean if I like a girl, why do I pretend not to? Or when someone bugs me about it, why do I act like a 7 year old? Deny deny deny! I try so hard to make it appear that I don't have any interest, or I don't want to show my hand, ever. I could rationalize it by saying I'm just waiting for the right time. But it's probably because I am chicken, or not really willing to take risks. (note: see the Degree commercials) Maybe I'll always be a 7 year old at heart, but that would be sad. If it means I am emotionally developed as a 7 year old. I guess that one gets thought about alot, cause that's what guys do. Think about girls!
Anyway, i've said too much
i'll blog about something else, possibly in 3 minutes!
I for some reason have not learned to deal with my emotions (good thing I have 8.5 hours of mindless work to just ponder everything that is wrong with me) I am all backwards about it, and I really need to get that sort of stuff straightened out, because I don't want to be known as the overly-emotional guy who has no rational thought.
I tend to take things way too personal. I have a hard time removing emotion from situations that it should. Work is a good example, although I can't say I have any examples. I just feel there are times when I am waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too moody, and there is no reason to be. I let my emotions control me sometimes. Not good, not good. And there isn't exactly a class to teach you. So you learn through life?
I think logic plays into it a bit to. Or atleast, if I hold an opinion on something, and I am in a debate defending it and I can't, I get emotional. Usually when I know what I think/feel is right, but I can't convey that to the other person. Regardless of if that person is listening. It's frustrating when you can't get your point across! And so there have been times when I am questioning my logic because I can't defend it or explain it.
The other thing I do is hide my emotions. That's mainly when it comes to girls. I mean if I like a girl, why do I pretend not to? Or when someone bugs me about it, why do I act like a 7 year old? Deny deny deny! I try so hard to make it appear that I don't have any interest, or I don't want to show my hand, ever. I could rationalize it by saying I'm just waiting for the right time. But it's probably because I am chicken, or not really willing to take risks. (note: see the Degree commercials) Maybe I'll always be a 7 year old at heart, but that would be sad. If it means I am emotionally developed as a 7 year old. I guess that one gets thought about alot, cause that's what guys do. Think about girls!
Anyway, i've said too much
i'll blog about something else, possibly in 3 minutes!
10.31.2006
What is happening to me?
So, I don't know if it's because I"ve played too much softball over the last 7 months or if it's third shift, but I am exhausted. This goes beyond just being tired. My entire upperbody just feels worn, on a daily basis. I'm not excited because it's affecting how/when I sleep, and really throwing my schedule off. I am in an all out war to catch sleep when I can, but sometimes, that means I don't wake up for class. Which really hurts. Some days are better than others, but I wish I could foresee an end to it, but I really think it's going to be like this. If I continue on this scheudle, I could feel like tihs for 2+ years??? Whoa! I don't know if I am ready for that. Maybe, it's just been my non-stop schedule. I think Winter Break will help clear up some of the mystery. But it's just kind of disconcerting how i feel. No me gusta!
i need to read more. I sit around, and pass my idle time watching mindless tv. Just because it doesn't involve thought. One thing I do too much of is Waste my time. Through it away on stuff that isn't really going to better myself. For the short timeI should up for the Leisure Studies class, we talked about the value of actually doing nothing. Stuff with very little benefit to the person: I do not really know the ultimate verdict, but I feel, if it doesn't have any value, then why do it? Or, why am I still watching tv/playing video games if I feel they don't have much value?
Does anyone have an extra $10,000 they want to give me? Cause I could do a lot with that.
I can't wait for softball to end! I know that doesn't sound like me, but I really enjoy the extra time to travel! I already have trips to columbus and new york planned. Who knows where else I might end up? It'll depend partly on the budget, and partly what I decide for my future. I remember last november being a blast! I was traveling all over the place.
I also hope to throw a killer Christmas party again at the new place, but I need the support of my roommates, so come closer to the date, i'll have to figure that one out. Hopefully all the street cred I developed from last year will pay off and will get just as many people if not more.
when will I be who I want to be?
i need to read more. I sit around, and pass my idle time watching mindless tv. Just because it doesn't involve thought. One thing I do too much of is Waste my time. Through it away on stuff that isn't really going to better myself. For the short timeI should up for the Leisure Studies class, we talked about the value of actually doing nothing. Stuff with very little benefit to the person: I do not really know the ultimate verdict, but I feel, if it doesn't have any value, then why do it? Or, why am I still watching tv/playing video games if I feel they don't have much value?
Does anyone have an extra $10,000 they want to give me? Cause I could do a lot with that.
I can't wait for softball to end! I know that doesn't sound like me, but I really enjoy the extra time to travel! I already have trips to columbus and new york planned. Who knows where else I might end up? It'll depend partly on the budget, and partly what I decide for my future. I remember last november being a blast! I was traveling all over the place.
I also hope to throw a killer Christmas party again at the new place, but I need the support of my roommates, so come closer to the date, i'll have to figure that one out. Hopefully all the street cred I developed from last year will pay off and will get just as many people if not more.
when will I be who I want to be?
10.30.2006
Monday reminded me of how good my weekend was
Yeah, so this is not a good day. Work was rough and tiring, and then I had to catch a few Zs and then wake up in time for Math Lab. Needless to say I left the house in a hurry, was ready to take a nap driving on the shoreway, and had a miserable time trying to command the computer to do what I wanted. And I have to come back another day and finish up and clean it up, ready for turning it in. yuck yuck yuck!
Had some fun over the weekend, friday got to meet soem new people at a halloween party! That was fun! PLayed Apples to Apples, which is a great game, especially with people you don't know well. And watched a scary movie, I'm kind of a wimp when it comes to that, but this one didn't get me. It all goes back to watching Little Shop of Horrors when I was six, and having nightmares about that plant for about 10 years. It didn't help I have a very vivid imagination.
Saturday was fantastic! I ran around getting stuff for my swing dancing 'costume' but it's mroe of an outfit that I would wear again, so I don't like to use the word costume. I am going to try to post pics of us on myspace, but I have to get them from someone with a digital camera! We had a lot of fun, and Madison Crawl, the band was phenomenal. You should look into them if you get the chance.
Sunday, was lay-on-my-ass day. Watched the Browns win one FINALLY! It was an intense game towards the end, shoulda never been that close. And it closed with $ 0.99 hot fudge sundaes from malley's! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH those are good. And got to hang out with the gang some more.
But I always get into trouble on sundays, because I always just lay around and don't actually sleep at all. So, come monday morning, i'm exhausted and don't want to get up. If i'm going to miss class, it'll probably be on a monday. But i really try not to, especially when it's Lab. Although, I think my group ditched me, which is understandable, because the communication hasn't really been there. And that's always a problem I run into in school. For some reason I just can't successful make connections to work on stuff with people. It doesn't help that I'm working such a funky schedule and have limited resources.
This is a terrible blog, but that's what is going on! And I need to sleep now!
i hope to post a better one in the coming days!
Had some fun over the weekend, friday got to meet soem new people at a halloween party! That was fun! PLayed Apples to Apples, which is a great game, especially with people you don't know well. And watched a scary movie, I'm kind of a wimp when it comes to that, but this one didn't get me. It all goes back to watching Little Shop of Horrors when I was six, and having nightmares about that plant for about 10 years. It didn't help I have a very vivid imagination.
Saturday was fantastic! I ran around getting stuff for my swing dancing 'costume' but it's mroe of an outfit that I would wear again, so I don't like to use the word costume. I am going to try to post pics of us on myspace, but I have to get them from someone with a digital camera! We had a lot of fun, and Madison Crawl, the band was phenomenal. You should look into them if you get the chance.
Sunday, was lay-on-my-ass day. Watched the Browns win one FINALLY! It was an intense game towards the end, shoulda never been that close. And it closed with $ 0.99 hot fudge sundaes from malley's! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH those are good. And got to hang out with the gang some more.
But I always get into trouble on sundays, because I always just lay around and don't actually sleep at all. So, come monday morning, i'm exhausted and don't want to get up. If i'm going to miss class, it'll probably be on a monday. But i really try not to, especially when it's Lab. Although, I think my group ditched me, which is understandable, because the communication hasn't really been there. And that's always a problem I run into in school. For some reason I just can't successful make connections to work on stuff with people. It doesn't help that I'm working such a funky schedule and have limited resources.
This is a terrible blog, but that's what is going on! And I need to sleep now!
i hope to post a better one in the coming days!
10.25.2006
Funy things that happened to me that I can remember and may or may not be made fun of for
I called time out during a baseball game when I was 10 so I could go to the bathroom. Whoa, too much info!
My mom has both a) Stabbed me with a fork and drew blood and b) picked me up, spun me around and bodyslammed me. I have witnesses for both!
My older sister was babysitting me and she trimmed my toe nails. She took of my entire baby toenail. I have never been able to forgive her, and it must have be traumatic because I remember it and I think I was likw 4 at the time.
I wasn't looking where I was going, kind of watching my feet and I ran into a telephone pole. This was freshman year of college.
I use to think the start of Brown-eyed girl was "Hey Rodrigo" where did the Spanish guy come from??
I once bleached my hair blonde
I was dancing around on a kitchen floor, and completely slipped fell on my ass. You would have to ask my americorps friends for a replay on that one.
I tend to say crazy stuff in my sleep when I eat Taco Bell before I go to bed
This is a lot shorter than I can remember. I am missing a lot from high school! But if you happen to remember an embarassing time I had, go ahead and post it! ( i might regret that later)
I have a terrifying fear of being embarassed!
My mom has both a) Stabbed me with a fork and drew blood and b) picked me up, spun me around and bodyslammed me. I have witnesses for both!
My older sister was babysitting me and she trimmed my toe nails. She took of my entire baby toenail. I have never been able to forgive her, and it must have be traumatic because I remember it and I think I was likw 4 at the time.
I wasn't looking where I was going, kind of watching my feet and I ran into a telephone pole. This was freshman year of college.
I use to think the start of Brown-eyed girl was "Hey Rodrigo" where did the Spanish guy come from??
I once bleached my hair blonde
I was dancing around on a kitchen floor, and completely slipped fell on my ass. You would have to ask my americorps friends for a replay on that one.
I tend to say crazy stuff in my sleep when I eat Taco Bell before I go to bed
This is a lot shorter than I can remember. I am missing a lot from high school! But if you happen to remember an embarassing time I had, go ahead and post it! ( i might regret that later)
I have a terrifying fear of being embarassed!
10.19.2006
π
Good news! I got a 95/100 on my sociology exam. WIth the free 6 points she was handing out that brings the tally up to 101. Hot damn! The sad part is i really feel like i don't deserve it. I didn't do the work, i missed some classes, and I was willing to accept whatever a last minute cram would get me. I don't know how or why, but it got me an A. A similar thing happen on my math test. I don't know what to say, maybe just accept it and vow to try harder?? Either way, right now, i am doing well in my classes. Good for me!
I am a big fan of the Onion. FOr some reason I've always had an affinity for stuff like that, fake news or twists on real news to make them hilarious. I'm also a big fan of the special sections, always reading the horroscopes and infographics. Overall it's pretty well done, and you can find some gems in the archives. I wish I could remember who introduced me to the Onion, because I need to thank them for it. I haven't stayed up to date with it as much as I used to, but there's usually a good read if you are ever feeling down.
This weekend should be blast. Toledo on Friday, then Cedar Point on Sarturday. A lot of driving, but it'll all be worth it in the long run. Definitely a unique group headed to cedar point, not so much the regulars as more of a chance to chat up some people I don't get to see so much. I am hoping that the miserable weather today = no softball tonight. I seem to be trying to avoid it more and more. Not necessarily avoid it, but I am ready for a break. I need the off season to come so my body to rest up (no, it's not that rigorous, I am just outta shape) And also the opportunity to do stuff with more free time. Maybe my homework, probably a lot more weekend travels. And who knows what else. Will I actually start bagpiping again. It would help if I had a place where I Could be loud. BUt I don't. And I need more music! AN instructor would help. Ayiyiyi! I want to be good at it, but i haven't created that opportunity. I put it off.
I could go for some basketball, alas, too much time and i just can't make that commitment. LAst year, I enjoyed even though there was a lot I hated about it. A LOT! I am terrible at basketball, i will never be on a championship basketball team unless I am logging 0 minutes. Or I am a mop up for blowouts, so our stars don't get hurt.
I am trying to push for a dress up night at Swing dancing on OCt. 28. Like real swing dancers from the 20s or 40s or whenever. I am thinking suspenders and a fancy hat will be my look. I've been trying to find photos online but there are limited resources. That might be because of my limited knowledge of using search engines. It's always fun to play dress up. THere's just something about trying to look good that boosts the ego, even if you don't. Atleast you can pretend in your little land of make believe. I've been told I "clean up" nice. And I've determined after an intensive scientific study, that I set the standard so low with how I usually dress and maintain my hair/looks that I probably look 100 times better just by taking a shower. Gross, I know! I wanna be a supermodel.
I want a laptop to call my own. One of those things, I can find 100 reasons to have, but know that i won't get my money's worth. Unless I actually went into film production. I try to think of having one and doing stuff on my own. But I think I would feel stupid making movies for no reason. I guess maybe the humorous stuff I could put on youtube and want not. But even more serious stuff. I would want to do, i feel weird carrying around a photo camera let alone a video camera. I don't want to be that guy, but I would have to be. Just have to! So the debate goes on. Oh did I menton i don't have the money for it. BUt in a world of endless credit......
Does anyone else see photos of themselves and just go "That's what I look like" Here I'm not saying is much in a bad, low self esteem sense. I think what happens is you see the photograph and it's missing what you are use to. That first person view, I also attribute it to 'stream of conciousness' even when you look in a mirrow and see yourself, you are not isolated from your thoughts. So a photograph is going to be the closest you get to knowing how others perceive you. So maybe it's a bad thing that when I look at photographs of myself I see this completely foreign object??
How do you open up to people. I want to b open and honest and share my thoughts (all of which I do fairly well hear, if you consider not talking about anything important in that category) But i still feel like i hold stuff back always, i prevent myself from making any deep connection. And I don't know how to fix that. This is more than just like boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. This is just that awesome relationship you can have with another person where it's like you are on the same wavelength. That understanding, i think i am very defensive about my emotions and thoughts. I am terrible at defending the way I think, but I don't think that makes me wrong. I could be, but it doesn't help that even when I am right, I look wrong.
There are more of my musings. I'll stop here, although I do feel like turning this into a marathon. Just keep going until i have no more. I'll be back soon though! I promise
I am a big fan of the Onion. FOr some reason I've always had an affinity for stuff like that, fake news or twists on real news to make them hilarious. I'm also a big fan of the special sections, always reading the horroscopes and infographics. Overall it's pretty well done, and you can find some gems in the archives. I wish I could remember who introduced me to the Onion, because I need to thank them for it. I haven't stayed up to date with it as much as I used to, but there's usually a good read if you are ever feeling down.
This weekend should be blast. Toledo on Friday, then Cedar Point on Sarturday. A lot of driving, but it'll all be worth it in the long run. Definitely a unique group headed to cedar point, not so much the regulars as more of a chance to chat up some people I don't get to see so much. I am hoping that the miserable weather today = no softball tonight. I seem to be trying to avoid it more and more. Not necessarily avoid it, but I am ready for a break. I need the off season to come so my body to rest up (no, it's not that rigorous, I am just outta shape) And also the opportunity to do stuff with more free time. Maybe my homework, probably a lot more weekend travels. And who knows what else. Will I actually start bagpiping again. It would help if I had a place where I Could be loud. BUt I don't. And I need more music! AN instructor would help. Ayiyiyi! I want to be good at it, but i haven't created that opportunity. I put it off.
I could go for some basketball, alas, too much time and i just can't make that commitment. LAst year, I enjoyed even though there was a lot I hated about it. A LOT! I am terrible at basketball, i will never be on a championship basketball team unless I am logging 0 minutes. Or I am a mop up for blowouts, so our stars don't get hurt.
I am trying to push for a dress up night at Swing dancing on OCt. 28. Like real swing dancers from the 20s or 40s or whenever. I am thinking suspenders and a fancy hat will be my look. I've been trying to find photos online but there are limited resources. That might be because of my limited knowledge of using search engines. It's always fun to play dress up. THere's just something about trying to look good that boosts the ego, even if you don't. Atleast you can pretend in your little land of make believe. I've been told I "clean up" nice. And I've determined after an intensive scientific study, that I set the standard so low with how I usually dress and maintain my hair/looks that I probably look 100 times better just by taking a shower. Gross, I know! I wanna be a supermodel.
I want a laptop to call my own. One of those things, I can find 100 reasons to have, but know that i won't get my money's worth. Unless I actually went into film production. I try to think of having one and doing stuff on my own. But I think I would feel stupid making movies for no reason. I guess maybe the humorous stuff I could put on youtube and want not. But even more serious stuff. I would want to do, i feel weird carrying around a photo camera let alone a video camera. I don't want to be that guy, but I would have to be. Just have to! So the debate goes on. Oh did I menton i don't have the money for it. BUt in a world of endless credit......
Does anyone else see photos of themselves and just go "That's what I look like" Here I'm not saying is much in a bad, low self esteem sense. I think what happens is you see the photograph and it's missing what you are use to. That first person view, I also attribute it to 'stream of conciousness' even when you look in a mirrow and see yourself, you are not isolated from your thoughts. So a photograph is going to be the closest you get to knowing how others perceive you. So maybe it's a bad thing that when I look at photographs of myself I see this completely foreign object??
How do you open up to people. I want to b open and honest and share my thoughts (all of which I do fairly well hear, if you consider not talking about anything important in that category) But i still feel like i hold stuff back always, i prevent myself from making any deep connection. And I don't know how to fix that. This is more than just like boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. This is just that awesome relationship you can have with another person where it's like you are on the same wavelength. That understanding, i think i am very defensive about my emotions and thoughts. I am terrible at defending the way I think, but I don't think that makes me wrong. I could be, but it doesn't help that even when I am right, I look wrong.
There are more of my musings. I'll stop here, although I do feel like turning this into a marathon. Just keep going until i have no more. I'll be back soon though! I promise
10.18.2006
Social Commentary
Here are my thoughts on some recent happenings, some funny, some not so much:
So the announcer cheering on the brawl at the Miama/FIU game. Yeah, big moron. I can't say he deserves to get fired, but it shows you his level of bias and complete disregard for the profession sitting there cheering on the brawl, talking about "getting in the elevator" and going to join them. "No one comes into our house" A) he's obviously still living some college fantasy about his playing days b) is he still enrolled at the university of miami?? c) who can honestly condone an all out brawl. Senseless violence, sure it's entertaining, but that guy needs to get over his football playing days. He kind of reminds me of Uncle Rico from Napolean Dynamite.
YouTube has the fight on demand
Ok, before I felt everything was under control. North Korea testing a nuke, big deal, but no real threat, just trying to get a little respect. Someone has middle child complex. Trust me I know it when I see it. But, now, the North Korean Government is saying that the sanctions the U.S. are demanding is hostile action.
That scares me. How quickly they want to respond to just a UN resolution as an act of war. THey seem to have their trigger finger ready to push that button. I am hoping the more powerful countries located in close proximity to North Korea wise up.
300,000,000 people in the United States. WOW! ONly 37 more years and we'll have another 100,000,000 people. I am hoping to contribute a large percentage of those new Americans. Where should I start?
A fact they are throwing around a lot is that the United States has the highest birth rate in the developed countries. Well this whole Sociology og the Third World class has offered some perspective. 2/women, not too shabby where you most likely have the resources to raise the youngins, and if for some reason you have trouble, there are a slew of social services that most take for granted. I don't have facts and figures to throw around about the 3rd world, but honestly, I think that this landmark occassion isn't time to sit and think "Is America getting too big for it's britches?" How about we start looking at the rising populations throughout the world and consider the problems that could arise from that. Now is not the time to be getting introspective as a nation!
On another note, I occassionally ponder how I would handle being a vegetarian. (I could never do vegan) I have to tell you though, when I get a jonesing for a burger, I was it as greasy and unhealthy as them come. Hence the extra pounds I carry. I could never go full on vegetarian. I could do without red meat (not saying it would be easy) I would probably try either fish only diet or fish and white meat. I have no problem with killing animals for food. Now, i do believe there is some truth to the meat industry being out of control and that animals stockpiled in confined spaces eating dead animals remains to survive, that is wrong. But, taking old Betsy out to pasteur and making meal outta her. I'm all for! I couldn't kill an animal myself. Too much compassion, but I believe other people can. Hunting, not my cup of tea, but yeah, it's good. Ohhh so I'm rambling. My point was if I were to go vegetarian or redmeatless, i would be more persuaded by the fact that South American countries continue to raise cattle for beef to sell to the United States even though they are starving and are poor countries regardless of their exports. The human side will get me everytime. I would have to do some more research, but for real, the stuff I am finding out in this class is pretty depressing.
That's all I'll bore you with. I just wanted to change pace and bring a different angle than my constant complaining and deep philosophical questions.
I bid you adieu
So the announcer cheering on the brawl at the Miama/FIU game. Yeah, big moron. I can't say he deserves to get fired, but it shows you his level of bias and complete disregard for the profession sitting there cheering on the brawl, talking about "getting in the elevator" and going to join them. "No one comes into our house" A) he's obviously still living some college fantasy about his playing days b) is he still enrolled at the university of miami?? c) who can honestly condone an all out brawl. Senseless violence, sure it's entertaining, but that guy needs to get over his football playing days. He kind of reminds me of Uncle Rico from Napolean Dynamite.
YouTube has the fight on demand
Ok, before I felt everything was under control. North Korea testing a nuke, big deal, but no real threat, just trying to get a little respect. Someone has middle child complex. Trust me I know it when I see it. But, now, the North Korean Government is saying that the sanctions the U.S. are demanding is hostile action.
After the resolution was passed in the Security Council, North Korean representative Pak Gil Yon said that his country "totally rejects the unjustifiable resolution" and vowed that if the United States increases "pressure upon the Democratic Peoples of the Republic of Korea persistently, the DPRK will continue to take physical countermeasures, considering it as a declaration of war.
That scares me. How quickly they want to respond to just a UN resolution as an act of war. THey seem to have their trigger finger ready to push that button. I am hoping the more powerful countries located in close proximity to North Korea wise up.
300,000,000 people in the United States. WOW! ONly 37 more years and we'll have another 100,000,000 people. I am hoping to contribute a large percentage of those new Americans. Where should I start?
A fact they are throwing around a lot is that the United States has the highest birth rate in the developed countries. Well this whole Sociology og the Third World class has offered some perspective. 2/women, not too shabby where you most likely have the resources to raise the youngins, and if for some reason you have trouble, there are a slew of social services that most take for granted. I don't have facts and figures to throw around about the 3rd world, but honestly, I think that this landmark occassion isn't time to sit and think "Is America getting too big for it's britches?" How about we start looking at the rising populations throughout the world and consider the problems that could arise from that. Now is not the time to be getting introspective as a nation!
On another note, I occassionally ponder how I would handle being a vegetarian. (I could never do vegan) I have to tell you though, when I get a jonesing for a burger, I was it as greasy and unhealthy as them come. Hence the extra pounds I carry. I could never go full on vegetarian. I could do without red meat (not saying it would be easy) I would probably try either fish only diet or fish and white meat. I have no problem with killing animals for food. Now, i do believe there is some truth to the meat industry being out of control and that animals stockpiled in confined spaces eating dead animals remains to survive, that is wrong. But, taking old Betsy out to pasteur and making meal outta her. I'm all for! I couldn't kill an animal myself. Too much compassion, but I believe other people can. Hunting, not my cup of tea, but yeah, it's good. Ohhh so I'm rambling. My point was if I were to go vegetarian or redmeatless, i would be more persuaded by the fact that South American countries continue to raise cattle for beef to sell to the United States even though they are starving and are poor countries regardless of their exports. The human side will get me everytime. I would have to do some more research, but for real, the stuff I am finding out in this class is pretty depressing.
That's all I'll bore you with. I just wanted to change pace and bring a different angle than my constant complaining and deep philosophical questions.
I bid you adieu
10.16.2006
mike² (mīk) n.
So a lot of people want to know who am I? are why are they here? And I am no exception. I feel, i am constantly searching for definition. What do I believe about God, religion, the soul. Is there a greater force controlling my actions? What do I believe about who I am? and what control do I have over that? I feel I can't really be happy until I am at peace with myself. More in touch with my thoughts and emotions. What do I want to be when I grow up? (Am I grown up yet??) Most of these questions derive from an overwhelming sense of purpose. A purpose that as of yet is not being fulfilled. Am I waiting for that dare to be great moment? IS waiting for that dare to be great moment just a way of delaying putting the building blocks of a strong foundation for something big? Can I just definie myself. Can I say THIS is who I am, and this is how it will be. Or will that just eventually give way to my constant thinking that there is something else I should be doing.
I don't know how to define myself. I feel over the last 2-3 years I've found a lot out about myself. Mainly, about how I interact with other people. And through that I've found out a little more of what I value, what I believe and what is important to me. I have an incredibly strong tie to my family. Maybe not the best relationship with them, or people in it. But that does not keep me from helping them when they need it, and just generally trying to be there for them. The other thing that I think maybe most inportant is Respect. I think people deserve respect until they do or show something about themsevles that says I don't want your respect. I'm sure I could write a novel on that, but my main point is, if people don't respect others, they aren't going to get my respect.
I still have a lot of big issues. A lot of these issues surround what I want to do with my life. My job sucks, I don't like it, I do not want to be doing it for more than another year. I am going back to school to pursue a math degree, but I don't know waht I'd do with a math degree when I get it. So how or where do I find the definition of who I want to be and what I want to become? Well, if I had that answer I might be able to help other people find it. But I don't. The other conflict that comes in for me is, do I fear defining myself. Do I want to put those limitations on myself. Because once I am defined, can I be anything else? How fluid will the definition be? I know even with in a lifetime there is an evolution going on. I am evolving as I continue throughout my life. But I'm having trouble defining the evolution, or seeing where it will take me. I even have control over my own evolution, choosing what education I partake in, and also, what activities and events I participate in in my free time. For example, I feel the evolution that continuing swing dancing would be more valuable then spending that time playing video games. Little things like that. Or opposed to playing softball, would volunteering my time somewhere to help an organization help me evolve into the person I most want to be?
So, if you count the number of question marks in this blog you can only begin to see where my thought processes take me through out any given day. Well, aslong as I'm not doing homework or I've shut my mind of by watching tv. I don't have answers to these questions, and I continue to seek for them, but I guess what I'm more worried about is what will I do when I find the answers. Or have I been ignoring answers?? I need to find some sort of philosophy that recognizes the changes in ones life through different time periods, more focused on events in life then definite time frames. Because you are definied by the events and experiences of your life. You could feel 45 years old at the age of 15 or 21 years old at 60.
Who am I?
I don't know how to define myself. I feel over the last 2-3 years I've found a lot out about myself. Mainly, about how I interact with other people. And through that I've found out a little more of what I value, what I believe and what is important to me. I have an incredibly strong tie to my family. Maybe not the best relationship with them, or people in it. But that does not keep me from helping them when they need it, and just generally trying to be there for them. The other thing that I think maybe most inportant is Respect. I think people deserve respect until they do or show something about themsevles that says I don't want your respect. I'm sure I could write a novel on that, but my main point is, if people don't respect others, they aren't going to get my respect.
I still have a lot of big issues. A lot of these issues surround what I want to do with my life. My job sucks, I don't like it, I do not want to be doing it for more than another year. I am going back to school to pursue a math degree, but I don't know waht I'd do with a math degree when I get it. So how or where do I find the definition of who I want to be and what I want to become? Well, if I had that answer I might be able to help other people find it. But I don't. The other conflict that comes in for me is, do I fear defining myself. Do I want to put those limitations on myself. Because once I am defined, can I be anything else? How fluid will the definition be? I know even with in a lifetime there is an evolution going on. I am evolving as I continue throughout my life. But I'm having trouble defining the evolution, or seeing where it will take me. I even have control over my own evolution, choosing what education I partake in, and also, what activities and events I participate in in my free time. For example, I feel the evolution that continuing swing dancing would be more valuable then spending that time playing video games. Little things like that. Or opposed to playing softball, would volunteering my time somewhere to help an organization help me evolve into the person I most want to be?
So, if you count the number of question marks in this blog you can only begin to see where my thought processes take me through out any given day. Well, aslong as I'm not doing homework or I've shut my mind of by watching tv. I don't have answers to these questions, and I continue to seek for them, but I guess what I'm more worried about is what will I do when I find the answers. Or have I been ignoring answers?? I need to find some sort of philosophy that recognizes the changes in ones life through different time periods, more focused on events in life then definite time frames. Because you are definied by the events and experiences of your life. You could feel 45 years old at the age of 15 or 21 years old at 60.
Who am I?
10.06.2006
the clock is ticking
i am playing russion roulette with the parking meter. I wanted to try this cool mobile campus laptop loan that CSU has. So I had to go through the whole process of signing up and them taking all of my information so they can send the mafia after me in case anything happens to the laptop that I borrow. Well, i didn't really thing about the fact that i have anywhere from 15-35 minutes left on the parking meter!! aye! So I will feel kind of dumb when I take the computer back 15 minutes after borrowing. Should have just waited in the computer lab.
Anyway, i am jacked! Because I think i did well on my math test. Which would be insane! I jotted down some notes so I could double check the answers with the right formulas. So, we'll see how accurate my answers were. When I feel this confident, it usually means I am wrong. It's been the theme throughout my life. The moment i start getting cocky...... There the humble bus waiting to run me over. So, i try to keep myself humble, even though I 'm wrapped up in this amazing package. Ummmmm... just kidding
I hope you laugh at that as hard as I am
the weekend is here.
beginning of a game plan: Sleep!
But first I have to swing by the rents to get dibs on "Crockpot Lasagna" It's a legend in our house, and doesn't last long. My mom makes it because A) it's a crowd pleaser and B) it's so easy to make. She's actually gained some of her sanity that she lost raising four kids because of this recipe.
After the nap, it's pretty much a crapshoot. Guess it kind of depends on what phone calls I field. I"m not feeling inspired to come up with anything to do. THat usually means I'm at home watching crummy friday night tv, by myself, staring at my phone. Luckily that hasn't happened that recently.
I can almost hear them writing the parking ticket now.
I had a new name/theme for my blog, but i always forget it when I sign on to see that huge greeting "avoid going... blah blah blah" I know you guys are sick of it already. It does carry some weight with me. It's why I enjoy spontaneity. That is the cure for just about everything! I might make some random crazy phone calls on the way home, because talking on your cell phone and driving is dangerous AND I WANT TO LIVE ON THE EDGE!
so maybe you'll get a call, maybe you won't!
is it your lucky day?
Anyway, i am jacked! Because I think i did well on my math test. Which would be insane! I jotted down some notes so I could double check the answers with the right formulas. So, we'll see how accurate my answers were. When I feel this confident, it usually means I am wrong. It's been the theme throughout my life. The moment i start getting cocky...... There the humble bus waiting to run me over. So, i try to keep myself humble, even though I 'm wrapped up in this amazing package. Ummmmm... just kidding
I hope you laugh at that as hard as I am
the weekend is here.
beginning of a game plan: Sleep!
But first I have to swing by the rents to get dibs on "Crockpot Lasagna" It's a legend in our house, and doesn't last long. My mom makes it because A) it's a crowd pleaser and B) it's so easy to make. She's actually gained some of her sanity that she lost raising four kids because of this recipe.
After the nap, it's pretty much a crapshoot. Guess it kind of depends on what phone calls I field. I"m not feeling inspired to come up with anything to do. THat usually means I'm at home watching crummy friday night tv, by myself, staring at my phone. Luckily that hasn't happened that recently.
I can almost hear them writing the parking ticket now.
I had a new name/theme for my blog, but i always forget it when I sign on to see that huge greeting "avoid going... blah blah blah" I know you guys are sick of it already. It does carry some weight with me. It's why I enjoy spontaneity. That is the cure for just about everything! I might make some random crazy phone calls on the way home, because talking on your cell phone and driving is dangerous AND I WANT TO LIVE ON THE EDGE!
so maybe you'll get a call, maybe you won't!
is it your lucky day?
10.05.2006
I could go in a million different directions right now, i can't keep up with my brain lately. I think it's from a lack of sleep. I've got my first test tomorrow, so sleep will have to wait. I might have a test today in class, but I am not sure. That would be muy malo! MUY MALO! I can do well on my test tomorrow, but I need to prepare well, and frankly, I don't know how. And when my test is over, i will celebrate somehow. if you are interested in being part of this celebration, let me know By the way, i am taking the day off from softball to prepare for this test. Those who know, knows what that mean.
The weekend is coming the weekend is coming. Gotta help move some people, softball is on the schedule, other then that, I got nada. Nada. I don't know what to do. I want to know. I guess I have some options. I've been using the swing dancing thing alot. That is ALWAYS fun. My mom is hosting an interesting party. An Akeelah and the Bee party. I want to go, but I don't. I mean hanging around with everyone, eating laughing, all good things. But i couldn't sit through that movie in that situation. I would have too much energy. I am interested in the movie, i would almost prefer to read the book. But being around that many people (mostly family) would energize me, and I just couldn't contain myself.
i went to a phenomenal restaurant yesterday........by myself. What a loser. I had to though. I wanted to go that bad. It's called Melt, and believe me it was worth it. It's "gourmet grilled cheese" but in short that just means paninis. VERY VERY GOOD PANINIS. Try it, it just opened on Sept 22nd and is already getting rave reviews. The one downside is: it's a small establishment and is always packed. but i hear they are working on that.
i like using CAPS today t emphasize my points. Not sure why, maybe I feel I'll get my point across. extra EMPHASIS
i want to be a superhero, the show heroes , it's pretty good. Brings back a lot of childhood dreams of having superpowers. Alas, i am welcomed to the cold reality, the world isn't black and white, good vs. evil, just a whole lot of gray. That's probably one revelation that ruined me. Someday I will find it.
Ummm yes, I am applying for the position of Protector of the world. If you notice, I have extensive background in emergency crisis management (redundancy also adds emphasis) I can errrrrrrrrr.... fly, turn invisible, and make a mean grilled cheese sandwich. What?? What?? people gotta eat! (i'll expect the check in the mail, Rally's)
So if you haven't determined how I go from point A to point Z, don't ask, because I'm not sure myself. And there are times when i feel absolutely insane. Like I know I like to be funny, and I feel randomness can be pretty funny, but some of the stuff I say, i seriously wonder where the hell it came from. It's especially noticeable when I try to make a joke and just get blank stares or no response. Ouch! Check this guy into the mental institution .
cedar point weekend should be a blast, i am looking forward to it. I'm hoping to play poker at St. Marks next weekend, but i have not gotten any more info from mi padre. And if you haven't noticed I want to speak spanish.
i need to call more people and catch up.
and this journey is over, see you all next week!
The weekend is coming the weekend is coming. Gotta help move some people, softball is on the schedule, other then that, I got nada. Nada. I don't know what to do. I want to know. I guess I have some options. I've been using the swing dancing thing alot. That is ALWAYS fun. My mom is hosting an interesting party. An Akeelah and the Bee party. I want to go, but I don't. I mean hanging around with everyone, eating laughing, all good things. But i couldn't sit through that movie in that situation. I would have too much energy. I am interested in the movie, i would almost prefer to read the book. But being around that many people (mostly family) would energize me, and I just couldn't contain myself.
i went to a phenomenal restaurant yesterday........by myself. What a loser. I had to though. I wanted to go that bad. It's called Melt, and believe me it was worth it. It's "gourmet grilled cheese" but in short that just means paninis. VERY VERY GOOD PANINIS. Try it, it just opened on Sept 22nd and is already getting rave reviews. The one downside is: it's a small establishment and is always packed. but i hear they are working on that.
i like using CAPS today t emphasize my points. Not sure why, maybe I feel I'll get my point across. extra EMPHASIS
i want to be a superhero, the show heroes , it's pretty good. Brings back a lot of childhood dreams of having superpowers. Alas, i am welcomed to the cold reality, the world isn't black and white, good vs. evil, just a whole lot of gray. That's probably one revelation that ruined me. Someday I will find it.
Ummm yes, I am applying for the position of Protector of the world. If you notice, I have extensive background in emergency crisis management (redundancy also adds emphasis) I can errrrrrrrrr.... fly, turn invisible, and make a mean grilled cheese sandwich. What?? What?? people gotta eat! (i'll expect the check in the mail, Rally's)
So if you haven't determined how I go from point A to point Z, don't ask, because I'm not sure myself. And there are times when i feel absolutely insane. Like I know I like to be funny, and I feel randomness can be pretty funny, but some of the stuff I say, i seriously wonder where the hell it came from. It's especially noticeable when I try to make a joke and just get blank stares or no response. Ouch! Check this guy into the mental institution .
cedar point weekend should be a blast, i am looking forward to it. I'm hoping to play poker at St. Marks next weekend, but i have not gotten any more info from mi padre. And if you haven't noticed I want to speak spanish.
i need to call more people and catch up.
and this journey is over, see you all next week!
10.03.2006
I can't win with the red cross
Hey,
So i didn't get the jump, i needed, but yesterday was good. I actually went to class! Yay me! I had more free food compliments of CSU, hung out with Liz at the engineering thing that put the who to do on, and got to play catch.
It was rather disappointing when I went to donate blood. Liz was donating, and I haven't donated since MAy 1st, so I am way behind. So i went to be a walk-in. It was deadsville, so no problem. However, I was rejected for the 2nd time. This would have been my 8th pint (through the red cross, I have 2 pints donated through an organization in California) So I was ready to be a gallon donor. But, i have 2 tiny, microscopic pimples in the "stick area" or whatever it's called. And, so the nurse consulted the head honcho, and he confimed I would be unable to donate. Now, i am not happy, i hate not being able to donate over such a minor thing. THe are in a blood crisis, and these two itty bitty tihngs are preventing me from donating. I would understand better if it were something major. A serious problem with my health, or somewhere I've traveled, or something, but C'MON!!
I have actually donated before with similar small blemishes there, but the nurses recoznized they wouldn't be a problem. They haven't before. If you ask my brother what happen the first time i got rejected, he would not give a favorable report. Call me weak, but I nearly cried. I guess donating blood is one of the few things I take very seriously and am proud to do. I was so frustrated and out of it, that I nearly sideswipped someone trying to drive home. Ohhhhhhhhh my brother would not let me live that down.
I was able to keep my composure, but I think it was blatantly obviously I was not happy. ANd all i can do is just sit there while the nurse finishes up the paperwork, and she apologizes, and I know it's not her fault, so I don't want to take my frustration out on her. So instead I took 2 packs of cheese and peanut butte crackers instead of just one, because the owed me. So, hopefully my arms will clear up in the next two weeks. I don't event hink there's anything I can really do about it. Except just wait it out. So sorry if you need a blood transfusion in the next couple of months or so. I wish I could of helped, but I wasn't allowed
So i didn't get the jump, i needed, but yesterday was good. I actually went to class! Yay me! I had more free food compliments of CSU, hung out with Liz at the engineering thing that put the who to do on, and got to play catch.
It was rather disappointing when I went to donate blood. Liz was donating, and I haven't donated since MAy 1st, so I am way behind. So i went to be a walk-in. It was deadsville, so no problem. However, I was rejected for the 2nd time. This would have been my 8th pint (through the red cross, I have 2 pints donated through an organization in California) So I was ready to be a gallon donor. But, i have 2 tiny, microscopic pimples in the "stick area" or whatever it's called. And, so the nurse consulted the head honcho, and he confimed I would be unable to donate. Now, i am not happy, i hate not being able to donate over such a minor thing. THe are in a blood crisis, and these two itty bitty tihngs are preventing me from donating. I would understand better if it were something major. A serious problem with my health, or somewhere I've traveled, or something, but C'MON!!
I have actually donated before with similar small blemishes there, but the nurses recoznized they wouldn't be a problem. They haven't before. If you ask my brother what happen the first time i got rejected, he would not give a favorable report. Call me weak, but I nearly cried. I guess donating blood is one of the few things I take very seriously and am proud to do. I was so frustrated and out of it, that I nearly sideswipped someone trying to drive home. Ohhhhhhhhh my brother would not let me live that down.
I was able to keep my composure, but I think it was blatantly obviously I was not happy. ANd all i can do is just sit there while the nurse finishes up the paperwork, and she apologizes, and I know it's not her fault, so I don't want to take my frustration out on her. So instead I took 2 packs of cheese and peanut butte crackers instead of just one, because the owed me. So, hopefully my arms will clear up in the next two weeks. I don't event hink there's anything I can really do about it. Except just wait it out. So sorry if you need a blood transfusion in the next couple of months or so. I wish I could of helped, but I wasn't allowed
10.02.2006
Very concise
Sometimes i feel like a dead car battery, just hook up the cables and give me a jump start
9.22.2006
The land of Cleve
I am immensely tired. But that's when all the good blogs are written, right?
I am becoming depressed, and normally you would think it would be caused with my continuing struggles with school, my dead-end job, or my withdrawal from softball (it's been less than 24 hours since I last played) But actually, it's the Cleveland sports scene that's killing me. I've never seen a city so devoid of hope (i've never been to kansas city) The indians were sooooooo disappointing. I banked on them making the playoffs, so I invested in a 20 game season ticket plan with my dad. Needless to say: NOT WORTH IT. It's actually so not worth it, i'm considering of doing it again. But this time with a couple mroe people. The indians are there again. They seem to be on the doorstep of greatness, but everything hinges on the moves they make this off season. I can barely stand to wait. Even though, I feel like the continuing excuse of being a "small market team" is kind of wearing thin. They need to make a big splash! Not just this, bid on the guys coming from injury who might return to there once great form. (Millwood worked out nicely, Aaron Boone did not) So, as the season dwindles, you can just sense the lack of energy coming from this team. Even with the young guys, they are playing lethargic. The last game I went to felt like a funeral. There was no energy, no excitement. The Twins fans were louder than we were.
The Browns 0-2, and I am starting to reseach if there has ever been a team to finish the season at 0-16. If this happens, I would blame this mostly on the AFC North, but the Browns alraedy lost one of maybe 2 games they'll actually be favored. The good thing going for them is, home field advantage might actually mean something. I'll be at the Pittsburgh game and the Kansas City game. Which are both later in the year. So hopefully we'll see that improvement that the press and coaches talked about at the beginning of the season. However, I want to attribute the current browns situation on poor personnel decisions (players) and on a terrible offensive coordinator. No offense, but Carthon is not any good at his job. Actually, I did mean offense, Carthon, you're terrible at your job. You might want to start looking for something to fall back on. You're not going to last through this season.
The Cavs are a bright spot on the scene but only because of Lebron. I liked the draft, didn't like the off season moves. I'm still waiting for Ferry to make a trade that I can say "Hell yes! The man is a genius!" We'll see!
That's the other thing, Shapiro, Savage, and Ferry are all touted as sharp minds with an eye for scouting and sooooooooooooooooo far, i would say it's been wholly unsatisfying on the jobs they have done collectively. I personally think Cleveland sportsfans deserve better. We ever deserve better sportswrites! But I won't go into that right now.
And now I sleep!
I am becoming depressed, and normally you would think it would be caused with my continuing struggles with school, my dead-end job, or my withdrawal from softball (it's been less than 24 hours since I last played) But actually, it's the Cleveland sports scene that's killing me. I've never seen a city so devoid of hope (i've never been to kansas city) The indians were sooooooo disappointing. I banked on them making the playoffs, so I invested in a 20 game season ticket plan with my dad. Needless to say: NOT WORTH IT. It's actually so not worth it, i'm considering of doing it again. But this time with a couple mroe people. The indians are there again. They seem to be on the doorstep of greatness, but everything hinges on the moves they make this off season. I can barely stand to wait. Even though, I feel like the continuing excuse of being a "small market team" is kind of wearing thin. They need to make a big splash! Not just this, bid on the guys coming from injury who might return to there once great form. (Millwood worked out nicely, Aaron Boone did not) So, as the season dwindles, you can just sense the lack of energy coming from this team. Even with the young guys, they are playing lethargic. The last game I went to felt like a funeral. There was no energy, no excitement. The Twins fans were louder than we were.
The Browns 0-2, and I am starting to reseach if there has ever been a team to finish the season at 0-16. If this happens, I would blame this mostly on the AFC North, but the Browns alraedy lost one of maybe 2 games they'll actually be favored. The good thing going for them is, home field advantage might actually mean something. I'll be at the Pittsburgh game and the Kansas City game. Which are both later in the year. So hopefully we'll see that improvement that the press and coaches talked about at the beginning of the season. However, I want to attribute the current browns situation on poor personnel decisions (players) and on a terrible offensive coordinator. No offense, but Carthon is not any good at his job. Actually, I did mean offense, Carthon, you're terrible at your job. You might want to start looking for something to fall back on. You're not going to last through this season.
The Cavs are a bright spot on the scene but only because of Lebron. I liked the draft, didn't like the off season moves. I'm still waiting for Ferry to make a trade that I can say "Hell yes! The man is a genius!" We'll see!
That's the other thing, Shapiro, Savage, and Ferry are all touted as sharp minds with an eye for scouting and sooooooooooooooooo far, i would say it's been wholly unsatisfying on the jobs they have done collectively. I personally think Cleveland sportsfans deserve better. We ever deserve better sportswrites! But I won't go into that right now.
And now I sleep!
9.14.2006
Last post was my 50th and I didn't even celebrate!!!!
SO, i'm averaging roughly 4 posts a month, figuring I've been doing this about a year and 50/12 = 4.somedecimal Just some mroe random math.
I wanted to post today, but I don't really have much to add. I rode my dad's bike to get my hair cut. This thing is old school. I think he looks pretty goofy on it, but atleast he's doing something he loves. I just felt like an idiot. And the girl who cut my hair saw me, and kind of made fun of me. But I totally felt like my dad. And I think i am going to inevitably become him. For better or worse, and I don't know which yet.
I kind of fell asleep and didn't wake up for class. Work was insanely rough! And I stayed extra to make up for all these "priorities" and it just drained me. I am still physically tired from it, even after getting some sleep.
Got to catch up with Ms. Mackay today. She's back in town after spending a long time in chicago. Always good to have new/newer faces to chat with.
It's raining alot, which I don't really mind. The time off from softball will allow my quad/hamstring injury time to rest. I just couldn't not play in the playoffs.
And rain is very soothing. Fun to listen to, watch a storm. That's why I'm a big fan of balconies! all right, no more ramblings.
good night!
I wanted to post today, but I don't really have much to add. I rode my dad's bike to get my hair cut. This thing is old school. I think he looks pretty goofy on it, but atleast he's doing something he loves. I just felt like an idiot. And the girl who cut my hair saw me, and kind of made fun of me. But I totally felt like my dad. And I think i am going to inevitably become him. For better or worse, and I don't know which yet.
I kind of fell asleep and didn't wake up for class. Work was insanely rough! And I stayed extra to make up for all these "priorities" and it just drained me. I am still physically tired from it, even after getting some sleep.
Got to catch up with Ms. Mackay today. She's back in town after spending a long time in chicago. Always good to have new/newer faces to chat with.
It's raining alot, which I don't really mind. The time off from softball will allow my quad/hamstring injury time to rest. I just couldn't not play in the playoffs.
And rain is very soothing. Fun to listen to, watch a storm. That's why I'm a big fan of balconies! all right, no more ramblings.
good night!
9.12.2006
i wanna new job
So,
third shift transition has been decent, but I'm at the point with my workplace, that it's starting to spread me thin. I'm working for a company that can make no promises towards future employment and benefits, yet they want to work me to the bone, they want me to put in endless hours of overtime, and at a certain point it needs to stop.
Well, school has definitely brought me to that point a lot quicker then I expected. But I also don't have options right now. I feel virtually worthless in today's job market. And I wouldn't know how to sell myself. I definitely need to work on that. But on top of that, I need the money for school and all the other financial obligations I'm tied into.
Work has been especially bad of late. Mainly because the lady I've worked with the last 9 months or so is on medical leave indefinitely, and I am helping to shoulder the load with another guy, who has worked for the company, but is new to our equipment. On top of this, the work we do is sent down by a team of people who have too much work as it is. 3-4 people would have full schedules with this work, let alone just the two of us trying to keep up. And since I'm trying to stay on top of school, I'm not really working any overtime, which means we can't catch up.
And I can tell that this is bugging my because I'm typing fast and making a lot of typos, and I get angry when I have to go back and correct them. Whoooooooooooooo, do I need to relax. Anger management is something I'm working on. Mainly because I get angry over stuff I can not control. I would like to adopt a more balanced, peaceful approach. So that is was I'm trying. Don't let my emotions get the best of me.
So needless to say, I'm on a job search with very few weapons, but I will re-work my resume, and search for new opportunities that will work around school. But it'll be a long drawn out process.
And by the way, if anyone reads this anymore, and also reads Vanessa's blog: her's is more what I was aiming for in the term of blogs when I started. Except that didn't happen, and I've let it become more of a personal venting area, which, seems to be what blogs are popular for, but I don't like. I don't want to bitch to the world of strangers out there. but yet I do. how did I get here, and it's time to reflect. i doubt i'll change though
third shift transition has been decent, but I'm at the point with my workplace, that it's starting to spread me thin. I'm working for a company that can make no promises towards future employment and benefits, yet they want to work me to the bone, they want me to put in endless hours of overtime, and at a certain point it needs to stop.
Well, school has definitely brought me to that point a lot quicker then I expected. But I also don't have options right now. I feel virtually worthless in today's job market. And I wouldn't know how to sell myself. I definitely need to work on that. But on top of that, I need the money for school and all the other financial obligations I'm tied into.
Work has been especially bad of late. Mainly because the lady I've worked with the last 9 months or so is on medical leave indefinitely, and I am helping to shoulder the load with another guy, who has worked for the company, but is new to our equipment. On top of this, the work we do is sent down by a team of people who have too much work as it is. 3-4 people would have full schedules with this work, let alone just the two of us trying to keep up. And since I'm trying to stay on top of school, I'm not really working any overtime, which means we can't catch up.
And I can tell that this is bugging my because I'm typing fast and making a lot of typos, and I get angry when I have to go back and correct them. Whoooooooooooooo, do I need to relax. Anger management is something I'm working on. Mainly because I get angry over stuff I can not control. I would like to adopt a more balanced, peaceful approach. So that is was I'm trying. Don't let my emotions get the best of me.
So needless to say, I'm on a job search with very few weapons, but I will re-work my resume, and search for new opportunities that will work around school. But it'll be a long drawn out process.
And by the way, if anyone reads this anymore, and also reads Vanessa's blog: her's is more what I was aiming for in the term of blogs when I started. Except that didn't happen, and I've let it become more of a personal venting area, which, seems to be what blogs are popular for, but I don't like. I don't want to bitch to the world of strangers out there. but yet I do. how did I get here, and it's time to reflect. i doubt i'll change though
9.09.2006
Dance the night away
I guess, one of the things in life that I've been missing most is finding things that truly make me happy. Or just recognizing what really makes me feel good, or is something that I really want to be doing. Well, this time, i found one. I don't really know why necessarily, but I always have a good time swing dancing. So, i'm going to make it a focus to go much more regularly. I had a phenomenal time last night swing dancing. It's fin when we have a decent group. Me, John, and Monica are pretty much the regulars. But Ryan, Susan, and Liz went last night. It's always fun to add mroe people to the gang, or even just have "weekly special guests" Just to get new faces and interact with more people. Last night was particularly good because I felt a lot more comfortable leading, and definitely a lot more comfortable stayin gon the beat. I definitely do not have a strong sense of rhythm, and tend to lose the beat at times, but for the most part i can recover. And aslong as I am improving from week to week, I'd have to say i'm pretty happy. I am always trying to add new moves to the repoitoire (spelling? I don't use spell check, i'll let you guys be my spell check) We learned free spins last night, it was pretty basic, but I feel like that's a big jump between bad dancer and good dancer. Like I was telling Liz, i have felt most like, you really have to trust yourself and your dancing to do the free spins because you have to catch your partner or disastrous things could happen. And i've felt up to this point, i almost have to cling to my partner so that doesn't happen. And clinging is never good. except when you are hanging from a tree branch over a 300 ft drop. But that's still not really good, just a better alternative to falling.
Andway, so swing dancing is a good time, if you saw me in a club trying to do that kind of dancing, I would be miserable! And most other forms of dancing, but this one, this one I like. And I can tell because I just ramble on and on about it, and pretty soon I have way to omuch written about a pretty pointless subject!
so if you are up for swing dancing, let me or john now. The next event is Sept. 30th at the Bohemian Hall.
Andway, so swing dancing is a good time, if you saw me in a club trying to do that kind of dancing, I would be miserable! And most other forms of dancing, but this one, this one I like. And I can tell because I just ramble on and on about it, and pretty soon I have way to omuch written about a pretty pointless subject!
so if you are up for swing dancing, let me or john now. The next event is Sept. 30th at the Bohemian Hall.
8.30.2006
How much sleep is enough?
I really don't know if I'm getting enough sleep. I think I am, but there are times when I'm not so sure. I mean, I've only been on 3rd shift for a week and a half, and honestly, I'd have to say it's gone smoother than I expected. But that doesn't mean i'm there yet. Plus, i haven't really gotten any homework. So i can sleep pretty much when I want. I generally sleep between 12-7pm. Those are the best hours. But when I have something to do, i'll have to adjust it.
Example 1.1
Mike signed up to play with a bagpipe band. THis band practices WEdnesdays from 7-9pm. In addition to this, Mike has a mandatory managers meeting to attend for Fall Softball at 6:30pm. Now, I don't think Mike can do both. But, he's still going to be running about just before a long shift and class the next day. Example 1.1 suggests this is going to catch up to him.
Example 1.2 (i know too many math textbooks!)
After this long day, thursday isn't looking any better. Mike has a softball game at 6:30pm in Westlake. If it's not rained out. Assuming worst case scenario. Mike will sleep from 12-5:30pm at the parents house, and then head to westlake for the game. Get back around 8 and have time to eat and nap some more. Or do homework. Who knows??
It seems more and more that my parents house is my best base of operations. It's much more convienent then the Islander. Which begs me to ask: Should I have stayed in Lakewood? I think yes. Even closer to downtown is looking like a pretty good option. Somewhere I could just use the rapid. I'm thinking if it weren't for softball, I could probably subsist on public transportation. That would be an impressive feat.
I also tried to do homework instead of blogging, but the online reserve hadn't been updated with the readings yet. So I continue to blog! I need new topics. Does anyone want to travel this weekend??? I know I do!!! Big time!! 3 day weekend!! woot woot!!! Anyone?? CHicago?? Louisville?? New York???? Somewhere I don't even know about! I need to travel. Boosts the morale!!
Example 1.1
Mike signed up to play with a bagpipe band. THis band practices WEdnesdays from 7-9pm. In addition to this, Mike has a mandatory managers meeting to attend for Fall Softball at 6:30pm. Now, I don't think Mike can do both. But, he's still going to be running about just before a long shift and class the next day. Example 1.1 suggests this is going to catch up to him.
Example 1.2 (i know too many math textbooks!)
After this long day, thursday isn't looking any better. Mike has a softball game at 6:30pm in Westlake. If it's not rained out. Assuming worst case scenario. Mike will sleep from 12-5:30pm at the parents house, and then head to westlake for the game. Get back around 8 and have time to eat and nap some more. Or do homework. Who knows??
It seems more and more that my parents house is my best base of operations. It's much more convienent then the Islander. Which begs me to ask: Should I have stayed in Lakewood? I think yes. Even closer to downtown is looking like a pretty good option. Somewhere I could just use the rapid. I'm thinking if it weren't for softball, I could probably subsist on public transportation. That would be an impressive feat.
I also tried to do homework instead of blogging, but the online reserve hadn't been updated with the readings yet. So I continue to blog! I need new topics. Does anyone want to travel this weekend??? I know I do!!! Big time!! 3 day weekend!! woot woot!!! Anyone?? CHicago?? Louisville?? New York???? Somewhere I don't even know about! I need to travel. Boosts the morale!!
8.29.2006
i'm on a roll
Hey,
i might never stop updating the blog if I continue to come downtown this early. I walk around a bit and enjoy the scenery, but today it's been drizzling steadily, so no playtime for me. And generally, the walk from tower city to CSU is enough outside activity. I should be doing homework! But it's only the 2nd day of classes, so i'll procrastinate a bit longer.
My first math class was not intimidating at all, and I'm getting the impression, I might make it through this. I think this first class will be a good indicator of where I stand in this math major. I just need to work on a routine of studying and doing homework. I don't anticipate missing any class. So, that's one potential problem eliminated. My class cutting days are over!
The sad news is, the white water rafting trip is temporarily on hold. It's a good thing I held off making the reservations. I've got a couple people who are definitely willing to go, but one or two had to back out for other obligations. And the fact that our softball season is on hold indefinitely, doesn't help. So, I'm hoping to push it back a couple weeks, but who knows. That changes the trip dynamic quite a bit. I don't see it getting any bigger or attracting more people, but we'll see. I do have my secret weapon, to entice people, but that's going to be a carefully considered option. I hope this is adding a bit of mystique and intrigue about it, and makes you wonder, that I am up to. Let me tell you: you should be wondering. It could be something you don't even know about. Something you're missing out on.
And the quest continues!
i might never stop updating the blog if I continue to come downtown this early. I walk around a bit and enjoy the scenery, but today it's been drizzling steadily, so no playtime for me. And generally, the walk from tower city to CSU is enough outside activity. I should be doing homework! But it's only the 2nd day of classes, so i'll procrastinate a bit longer.
My first math class was not intimidating at all, and I'm getting the impression, I might make it through this. I think this first class will be a good indicator of where I stand in this math major. I just need to work on a routine of studying and doing homework. I don't anticipate missing any class. So, that's one potential problem eliminated. My class cutting days are over!
The sad news is, the white water rafting trip is temporarily on hold. It's a good thing I held off making the reservations. I've got a couple people who are definitely willing to go, but one or two had to back out for other obligations. And the fact that our softball season is on hold indefinitely, doesn't help. So, I'm hoping to push it back a couple weeks, but who knows. That changes the trip dynamic quite a bit. I don't see it getting any bigger or attracting more people, but we'll see. I do have my secret weapon, to entice people, but that's going to be a carefully considered option. I hope this is adding a bit of mystique and intrigue about it, and makes you wonder, that I am up to. Let me tell you: you should be wondering. It could be something you don't even know about. Something you're missing out on.
And the quest continues!
8.28.2006
Back to School
Hey hey hey!
And I will be sitting in class in a little over an hour for the first time in about 3 years. I don't really count my short tenure at Kent State because that was laughable. Very disppointing. So, I'm biding my time. And this is how I will probably bide my time. I realized people probably don't read this cause I update it on average once a month. That's not enough to keep the viewers entertained. So I will be keeping this a little more up to date.
THe day has been pretty good so far. I actually like my schedule as I have it. I just have to make sure that I don't lose out on sleep. That's my only fear. I work from about 9:30pm-6am, then I grabbed a bite to eat at the 'rents house and hoped on the Rapid to wander downtown.
Checklist:
Get downtown
Get school books
FIgure out where my classes are
DO what ever I want with extra time.
Done and Done!
After class, I'll take a nap. On this monday, I am trying Yoga. Tuesday and Thursday evenings I have softball and Wednesday nights I have pipe band practice. I also have to squeeze in practice on the bagpipes through out the week. That'll be tough without getting shot. My weekends are all day fridays/saturdays. Which I enjoy because I can actually do stuff friday nights. Although the last 3 fridays have been hell. I might have complained about that in my last blog entry.
I bumped into a high school friend on the rapid. It was good catching up with her. Walked her to work, then headed to school. I walked from tower city to CSU. it's a walk I plan on making everyday. Hopefully the exercise will help. But I can always take the bus for free. So we'll see how lazy I get. i might need to invest in an umbrella! I hope to see the many people I know going to CSU around campus such as: my sister, my cousin Nora, Seher, Janelle, Janet, and whoever else I have forgotten or did not know about.
I'm out for now. Adios!
And I will be sitting in class in a little over an hour for the first time in about 3 years. I don't really count my short tenure at Kent State because that was laughable. Very disppointing. So, I'm biding my time. And this is how I will probably bide my time. I realized people probably don't read this cause I update it on average once a month. That's not enough to keep the viewers entertained. So I will be keeping this a little more up to date.
THe day has been pretty good so far. I actually like my schedule as I have it. I just have to make sure that I don't lose out on sleep. That's my only fear. I work from about 9:30pm-6am, then I grabbed a bite to eat at the 'rents house and hoped on the Rapid to wander downtown.
Checklist:
Get downtown
Get school books
FIgure out where my classes are
DO what ever I want with extra time.
Done and Done!
After class, I'll take a nap. On this monday, I am trying Yoga. Tuesday and Thursday evenings I have softball and Wednesday nights I have pipe band practice. I also have to squeeze in practice on the bagpipes through out the week. That'll be tough without getting shot. My weekends are all day fridays/saturdays. Which I enjoy because I can actually do stuff friday nights. Although the last 3 fridays have been hell. I might have complained about that in my last blog entry.
I bumped into a high school friend on the rapid. It was good catching up with her. Walked her to work, then headed to school. I walked from tower city to CSU. it's a walk I plan on making everyday. Hopefully the exercise will help. But I can always take the bus for free. So we'll see how lazy I get. i might need to invest in an umbrella! I hope to see the many people I know going to CSU around campus such as: my sister, my cousin Nora, Seher, Janelle, Janet, and whoever else I have forgotten or did not know about.
I'm out for now. Adios!
8.26.2006
my social life has no pulse
Man, i need to find more to do on friday nights!
I started third shift this week, and it went well, except for the fact that I can't sleep right now. I'm normally working. So, I might be keeping this schedule through the weekends! Yuk!!!!!!!!
I have a lot going on now, and it'll just changed in a week. It's taken one week to have a whoe new dynamic in my life. I'm going through the end of summer softball to the start of fall softball. Not so big of a deal, just different days I play softball.
More importantly the switching to 3rd shift and the starting of classes. It's a change, i don't know if it's for the best yet. I mean yeah, going to school is good. Aslong as I kick schools ass. That will be a true test of my mettle. not necessarily because I think a college degree is the ultimate pinnacle, but more to test myself and see if I can really apply myself. Because that is what is holding me back. That is what is stopping me from achieving something great. I need to work my way through this, and if I do, i'll make something happen. Because I'll have a tool i didn't before. I just hope that i can acquire other tools along the way.
I also kind of fell into a pipe band, which will be good, i hope. I wanted to check things out and there I was just piping away with them. Couldn't really keep up with them. but it's good to be back. and this way I'll be playing more regularly. if only i could find a place to practice. NObody like listening to a bagpiper practice.
so i get a lot of time to think on 3rd shift, no one really comes around, i got the stereo playing and i just work. and the more I think about it, and the more i ask myself "what's my purpose? or what am I doing with my life" I don't really come up with anything solid. Slightly depressing. How can it be i can't make that leap into something spectacular? And it seems while I"m looking for that dare to be great situation, i should be slowly building a solid foundation to spring off of, instead of waiting for something to happen. What is that foundation, well most definitely education. College helps, that kind of knowledge is respected in this world. But also education in the human dynamic. I really could learn to do that better. THere seems to be so much knowledge so many conversations I seem to miss because I don't let myself open up. Or maybe I don't know how. and there's the ambiguity. i can't identify the problem, so how can I correct it. am I going to run around constantly not finding the problem, am i doing it because I don't want to find it. don't want to fix it? shirking responsibility. see, i just come up with more questions and less answers. I want to force myself into something. I want to get to where I want to be, without really knowing where that's going. And it doesn't help I let my surroundings dictate my future. that's probably the hardest. I can't separate from my surroundings. I let them dictate my limitations. i talk and I talk about changing. well, i make a good sequel, to be continued...
too tired to check for spelling mistakes, let me know where I goofed!
I started third shift this week, and it went well, except for the fact that I can't sleep right now. I'm normally working. So, I might be keeping this schedule through the weekends! Yuk!!!!!!!!
I have a lot going on now, and it'll just changed in a week. It's taken one week to have a whoe new dynamic in my life. I'm going through the end of summer softball to the start of fall softball. Not so big of a deal, just different days I play softball.
More importantly the switching to 3rd shift and the starting of classes. It's a change, i don't know if it's for the best yet. I mean yeah, going to school is good. Aslong as I kick schools ass. That will be a true test of my mettle. not necessarily because I think a college degree is the ultimate pinnacle, but more to test myself and see if I can really apply myself. Because that is what is holding me back. That is what is stopping me from achieving something great. I need to work my way through this, and if I do, i'll make something happen. Because I'll have a tool i didn't before. I just hope that i can acquire other tools along the way.
I also kind of fell into a pipe band, which will be good, i hope. I wanted to check things out and there I was just piping away with them. Couldn't really keep up with them. but it's good to be back. and this way I'll be playing more regularly. if only i could find a place to practice. NObody like listening to a bagpiper practice.
so i get a lot of time to think on 3rd shift, no one really comes around, i got the stereo playing and i just work. and the more I think about it, and the more i ask myself "what's my purpose? or what am I doing with my life" I don't really come up with anything solid. Slightly depressing. How can it be i can't make that leap into something spectacular? And it seems while I"m looking for that dare to be great situation, i should be slowly building a solid foundation to spring off of, instead of waiting for something to happen. What is that foundation, well most definitely education. College helps, that kind of knowledge is respected in this world. But also education in the human dynamic. I really could learn to do that better. THere seems to be so much knowledge so many conversations I seem to miss because I don't let myself open up. Or maybe I don't know how. and there's the ambiguity. i can't identify the problem, so how can I correct it. am I going to run around constantly not finding the problem, am i doing it because I don't want to find it. don't want to fix it? shirking responsibility. see, i just come up with more questions and less answers. I want to force myself into something. I want to get to where I want to be, without really knowing where that's going. And it doesn't help I let my surroundings dictate my future. that's probably the hardest. I can't separate from my surroundings. I let them dictate my limitations. i talk and I talk about changing. well, i make a good sequel, to be continued...
too tired to check for spelling mistakes, let me know where I goofed!
7.25.2006
Insufficient
Hey y'all,
A couple of quick notes. A) WE played 2 of the best softball games of all time on Sunday. if you weren't there you missed a treat! The first game we won 5-4. We scored 3 runs in the bottom of the 6th to tie it, and then scored the winning run in the bottom of the 7th. I was jacked up. The next game was tight the whole way, we ended up losing 3-1. But there were phenomenal defensive plays by both teams. And we finished 2 games in a little over a hour and a half. Damn that was quick!
Ryan is back in town, and he's staying! well, atleast not going back to korea. it's been great having him back and hanging out with him. we might play a little too much halo, but that never hurt no one.
Work is a bit rough now because the work in the room is being reviewed by the supervisors, and it really sucks when even though you know you are busting your ass, they aren't satisified with the work. So i'm picking up more hours to try to get the numbers up a little, cause it's all a numbers game. And it's the summer time, the last thing I want to be doing is working 10-11 hour days. I need to have some fun!
And i don't have anything in particularly deep to add today, just a quick briefing!
A couple of quick notes. A) WE played 2 of the best softball games of all time on Sunday. if you weren't there you missed a treat! The first game we won 5-4. We scored 3 runs in the bottom of the 6th to tie it, and then scored the winning run in the bottom of the 7th. I was jacked up. The next game was tight the whole way, we ended up losing 3-1. But there were phenomenal defensive plays by both teams. And we finished 2 games in a little over a hour and a half. Damn that was quick!
Ryan is back in town, and he's staying! well, atleast not going back to korea. it's been great having him back and hanging out with him. we might play a little too much halo, but that never hurt no one.
Work is a bit rough now because the work in the room is being reviewed by the supervisors, and it really sucks when even though you know you are busting your ass, they aren't satisified with the work. So i'm picking up more hours to try to get the numbers up a little, cause it's all a numbers game. And it's the summer time, the last thing I want to be doing is working 10-11 hour days. I need to have some fun!
And i don't have anything in particularly deep to add today, just a quick briefing!
7.16.2006
Where you want to be
I think you'll all agree with, Moose don't belong in Brazil. But unfortunately, that's how it goes. Manny Moose is headed back to Brazil tomorrow. He had a good run in the United States. If you wanna see a picture of the moose, you can check him out on myspace. I'll miss him! He was such a happy baby!
I spent the day with my mom's side of the family yesterday. It was a lot of fun. It's amazing the connection you can feel to people even though you only see them once or twice a year. We go to my aunt's house (which she is selling by the way, very unfortunate) It has a pond which we swim in. We just hang out in the backyard, swim, drink, play cards, and eat. I do have a bit of redneck in me, but I only let it come out once or twice a year.
I want to be somewhere else, i always want to be somewhere else, and not only do I want to be somewhere else, I want to be everywhere. I don't want to miss a thing, i want to be at a wedding, a graduation party, a funeral, and a family reunion all in the same day. I want to be at a bar, playing poker, swimming, or seeing a movie. I want to be at work and be in the sun. I don't ever want to sleep, because if you sleep you miss something. I want to stretch myself so thin that I can't possibly ever stop. I want to play every sport at any time. I don't want to be watching tv, sitting on the computer too long, or playing video games. I want to play the bagpipes. I want to be in a band, but not for the music, for the girls. I want to travel to every european country, half of the central/south american countries, a couple African nations, and a good blend of the Asian continent. I want to be a free spirit, but I also want to be able to share my spirit with someone.
I want a lot of things, I want too much, i want so much I can't focus on one thing long enough. Every shiny glitterty thing distracts me. How can I roll all of my wants into one lifetime. How can i do everything i want to do in such a short amount of time. And how can I pay for any of it, if I don't have a job because I always want to be somewhere else?
And so it goes, can I be where I want to be and not be there at the same time?
I spent the day with my mom's side of the family yesterday. It was a lot of fun. It's amazing the connection you can feel to people even though you only see them once or twice a year. We go to my aunt's house (which she is selling by the way, very unfortunate) It has a pond which we swim in. We just hang out in the backyard, swim, drink, play cards, and eat. I do have a bit of redneck in me, but I only let it come out once or twice a year.
I want to be somewhere else, i always want to be somewhere else, and not only do I want to be somewhere else, I want to be everywhere. I don't want to miss a thing, i want to be at a wedding, a graduation party, a funeral, and a family reunion all in the same day. I want to be at a bar, playing poker, swimming, or seeing a movie. I want to be at work and be in the sun. I don't ever want to sleep, because if you sleep you miss something. I want to stretch myself so thin that I can't possibly ever stop. I want to play every sport at any time. I don't want to be watching tv, sitting on the computer too long, or playing video games. I want to play the bagpipes. I want to be in a band, but not for the music, for the girls. I want to travel to every european country, half of the central/south american countries, a couple African nations, and a good blend of the Asian continent. I want to be a free spirit, but I also want to be able to share my spirit with someone.
I want a lot of things, I want too much, i want so much I can't focus on one thing long enough. Every shiny glitterty thing distracts me. How can I roll all of my wants into one lifetime. How can i do everything i want to do in such a short amount of time. And how can I pay for any of it, if I don't have a job because I always want to be somewhere else?
And so it goes, can I be where I want to be and not be there at the same time?
7.14.2006
Professional eating
Ok, so i'll post to show I'm serious about this blog.
Fist things first, Competitive eating is not a sport. Sure ESPN was showing it for a while. But at this point, ESPN will tryout anything after the unexpected, successful hit putting Poker on tv was. THey are looking for the next World Series. Sure eating 57 hotdogs in under an hour take some skill, but so does knitting.
So I'm going to write about some of my more impressive feats of eating.
I start out slow, beginning with the Quad Stacker. This really isn't that hard, but just the sounds of it makes it worse then it really is. IT's four patties of beef, four slices of cheese, and bacon on a bun. Every man's dream right? Yeah if it werne't sold at Burger King. I got the thing and looked like it belonged in a fat kid's happy meal. It was tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny. I think the burger patties were 1/16 lbs each. Any way, I'm a pig, I'll tell you more:
I've been in a pie eating contest, but that's not really all it's cracked up to be. It really is more disgusting than anything. IF you can cleanly eat a pie with your hands behind your back and blindfolded, I applaud you. But I think that's more of a spectator thing.
Quaker Steak & Lube has unlimited wings on tuesday. There wings are gooooooooooooood. Louisiana Lickers are my favorites, and frankly, that's the only flavor I can remember. But they have some other good ones. I haven't been in a while, I need to go. Even if it's not on a tuesday. Anyway, i was able to down 56 wings on one of my trips, and that nearly killed me. I ate over 4 dozen winfs in a sitting, ECCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKK. ANd just to look a little better, my friend he ate like 84. HE's kind of a monster when it comes to meat. His name: George Morrison. If you know him, you wouldn't be surprised.
I invented the Cheeseburger Hall of Fame during my years at taco bell. THis isn't about sheer quantity, this is all about instant impact. Buy a McDonald's cheeseburger and shove it all in your mouth at once. Then try to chew. It's not that tricky, but it does take a while to get through. This probably requires the most "skill" to accomplish in the sense, you pretty much have to have half the burger hanging out of your mouth while you chew the other half. Not a pretty site.
(This blog is becoming way to long for the subject matter)
I've done chubby bunny. Or maybe just tried to stuff a whole bunch of marshmallows in my mouth. I really thing I'm pretty good at this, but I've never competed. There is a picture floating around somewhere of a ton of marshmallows exploding from my mouth like a mushroom cloud. And also of me and some people attempting the cheeseburger hall of fame.
And now for my penultimate achievement, and if you have a weak stomach, you might want to sit this one out. The Wendy's $ 0.99 challenge. It goes like this, you buy 1 item of the classic 99 cent menu, and eat it as fast as you can. I recommend you put in a movie, a looooooooooooooong movie.
There are the items:
jr. bacon cheese burger
jr. cheeseburger deluxe
med. fries
small frosty
small soda
ceasar salad
garden salad
5 pc. chicken nuggets
baked potato (or as I like to refer to it as the "gutbuster")
chili
THe first time i did this, It took me one hour and 57 minutes. I was 2nd only to Ian who finished it in 1 hour and 53 minutes. Let me tell you, JT and Brandon wimped out. BUt by the end, I saved one of the burgers until last. I could taste each individual flavor, and I was just waiting to throw up. After suffering throught the burger I did a short dance of celebration and then immediately laid on the ground for about half and hour, where people thought it would be funny to poke me in the belly like i was the friggin' pilsbury dough boy.
The 2nd time was while I was in americorps, me and matt did it. Unfortunately, they didn't have baked potatos, so we had to substitute another batch of fries, which kind of devalues it, but i did finish in under an hour, which I am morbidly proud of. Matt did well, but he ended up throwing up, but he ate like a champ. And he's actually my food eating role model. He's pretty good at it.
So now that i've completely grossed you all out, who wants to do the 99 cent challenge, it's about that time of the year!
Fist things first, Competitive eating is not a sport. Sure ESPN was showing it for a while. But at this point, ESPN will tryout anything after the unexpected, successful hit putting Poker on tv was. THey are looking for the next World Series. Sure eating 57 hotdogs in under an hour take some skill, but so does knitting.
So I'm going to write about some of my more impressive feats of eating.
I start out slow, beginning with the Quad Stacker. This really isn't that hard, but just the sounds of it makes it worse then it really is. IT's four patties of beef, four slices of cheese, and bacon on a bun. Every man's dream right? Yeah if it werne't sold at Burger King. I got the thing and looked like it belonged in a fat kid's happy meal. It was tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny. I think the burger patties were 1/16 lbs each. Any way, I'm a pig, I'll tell you more:
I've been in a pie eating contest, but that's not really all it's cracked up to be. It really is more disgusting than anything. IF you can cleanly eat a pie with your hands behind your back and blindfolded, I applaud you. But I think that's more of a spectator thing.
Quaker Steak & Lube has unlimited wings on tuesday. There wings are gooooooooooooood. Louisiana Lickers are my favorites, and frankly, that's the only flavor I can remember. But they have some other good ones. I haven't been in a while, I need to go. Even if it's not on a tuesday. Anyway, i was able to down 56 wings on one of my trips, and that nearly killed me. I ate over 4 dozen winfs in a sitting, ECCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKK. ANd just to look a little better, my friend he ate like 84. HE's kind of a monster when it comes to meat. His name: George Morrison. If you know him, you wouldn't be surprised.
I invented the Cheeseburger Hall of Fame during my years at taco bell. THis isn't about sheer quantity, this is all about instant impact. Buy a McDonald's cheeseburger and shove it all in your mouth at once. Then try to chew. It's not that tricky, but it does take a while to get through. This probably requires the most "skill" to accomplish in the sense, you pretty much have to have half the burger hanging out of your mouth while you chew the other half. Not a pretty site.
(This blog is becoming way to long for the subject matter)
I've done chubby bunny. Or maybe just tried to stuff a whole bunch of marshmallows in my mouth. I really thing I'm pretty good at this, but I've never competed. There is a picture floating around somewhere of a ton of marshmallows exploding from my mouth like a mushroom cloud. And also of me and some people attempting the cheeseburger hall of fame.
And now for my penultimate achievement, and if you have a weak stomach, you might want to sit this one out. The Wendy's $ 0.99 challenge. It goes like this, you buy 1 item of the classic 99 cent menu, and eat it as fast as you can. I recommend you put in a movie, a looooooooooooooong movie.
There are the items:
jr. bacon cheese burger
jr. cheeseburger deluxe
med. fries
small frosty
small soda
ceasar salad
garden salad
5 pc. chicken nuggets
baked potato (or as I like to refer to it as the "gutbuster")
chili
THe first time i did this, It took me one hour and 57 minutes. I was 2nd only to Ian who finished it in 1 hour and 53 minutes. Let me tell you, JT and Brandon wimped out. BUt by the end, I saved one of the burgers until last. I could taste each individual flavor, and I was just waiting to throw up. After suffering throught the burger I did a short dance of celebration and then immediately laid on the ground for about half and hour, where people thought it would be funny to poke me in the belly like i was the friggin' pilsbury dough boy.
The 2nd time was while I was in americorps, me and matt did it. Unfortunately, they didn't have baked potatos, so we had to substitute another batch of fries, which kind of devalues it, but i did finish in under an hour, which I am morbidly proud of. Matt did well, but he ended up throwing up, but he ate like a champ. And he's actually my food eating role model. He's pretty good at it.
So now that i've completely grossed you all out, who wants to do the 99 cent challenge, it's about that time of the year!
7.12.2006
3rd time is a charm!
So, i'vebeen trying to write a post two other times and I've been thwarted, either by my brother who was trying to do homework, or by myself accidentlly bumping the power cable, and thus causing the computer to go on the fritz. But, it's working now, and I fully iontend on providing my few viewers with a lengthy drawn out, but entertaining blog.
Man have you missed a lot! I'll try to catch you up, but i'm just going to be going of on tangents. Think of this blog a syour inside look at mike's stream of conscious .
As far as saying I'm content, i just wanted to point out that I am content with where I am at only because I am not content to stay here for an extended period of time. IF I feel I am getting into arut and a place I don't want to be, i'm willing to make drastic changes. I don't want to get to the point where I am trapped with what I am doing.
May and June were pretty good months. Summer has come, the weather warmed up, and a lot more people around because school shas let out. Got to do a mermorial day picnic at a beach on the eastside Mentor headlands. it was definitely nicer out there, but not necessarily worth the extra time it takes. And the water is still dirty lake erie water.
I got to attend Amanda and Riley's wedding. I'm friends with amanda, and I've met riley a couple times over the years. It was exciting because it was my first wedding where I was invited as friend, not family. It was a beautiful ceremony, very well planned. And it was a lot of fun to catch up with the girls of Compton 3rd floor. That's pretty much how i knew them. They all live don the same hall our freshman year.
Softball is going, we are doing well, but definitely underachieving a bit. This is the first year where I am being very critical of my managing, and seeing what I can do to improve both on the field play, and also working everyone into the rotation. It's not been easy, but I think by the end of the season will be ready to go in the playoffs. The good thing is a) we can definitely beat an team in the field. b) the regualr season will have little impact on the playoffs because it's a 6 team field. The first round bye would be nice but we can manage because we are the youngest team and our stamina is considerably higher.
Whitewater rafting was one of the best experiences in my life. It was definitely a fun group to go with. The camping will have to be planned a little better next time (yes there will be a next time) BUt over all, i am really glad thta it all came together and we got to make the trip. Our guide, Tasha, was pretty cool, and made fun of stephen the whole time, so bonus points in my book!
Work is work, it's been a little less stressful, but mainly because either there was a 3rd shift person so I couldn't stay extra or I haven't been. I work my 40 and go home. it's definitely harder in the summer, because I always have something I want to do. BUt i'll probably be getting into working extended hours a little more here because the money is nice. I still don't know if I'll ever get hired in and that is frustrating! i deserve it, the people I work with tell me that, my boss tells me that, but somewhere in the corporate chain, someone says, can't hire any new people. ARGH! So for now I wait it out.
I'm still looking into CSU, but have found that they like their summer vacation, because people I have called or emailed haven't really gotten back to me. So, i find that process slow moving. but I should be taking 1 course this semester. probably something that fulfills my core classes, because I gotta a couple of those left thanks to CSU's crazy requirements.
And since i like to see who reads my blog, here's a thought. I haven't been able to pick what I want to do with the rest fo my life. So i'm asking advice. What would I be good at?? what do you guys see from me that suggests, yeah, he might be able to do that FOR EVER FOOOOOOOOOOR EVERRRRRRRRR FOOOORRRRRRREVER! Any ideas? let me know! I'll be blogging again soon!
Man have you missed a lot! I'll try to catch you up, but i'm just going to be going of on tangents. Think of this blog a syour inside look at mike's stream of conscious .
As far as saying I'm content, i just wanted to point out that I am content with where I am at only because I am not content to stay here for an extended period of time. IF I feel I am getting into arut and a place I don't want to be, i'm willing to make drastic changes. I don't want to get to the point where I am trapped with what I am doing.
May and June were pretty good months. Summer has come, the weather warmed up, and a lot more people around because school shas let out. Got to do a mermorial day picnic at a beach on the eastside Mentor headlands. it was definitely nicer out there, but not necessarily worth the extra time it takes. And the water is still dirty lake erie water.
I got to attend Amanda and Riley's wedding. I'm friends with amanda, and I've met riley a couple times over the years. It was exciting because it was my first wedding where I was invited as friend, not family. It was a beautiful ceremony, very well planned. And it was a lot of fun to catch up with the girls of Compton 3rd floor. That's pretty much how i knew them. They all live don the same hall our freshman year.
Softball is going, we are doing well, but definitely underachieving a bit. This is the first year where I am being very critical of my managing, and seeing what I can do to improve both on the field play, and also working everyone into the rotation. It's not been easy, but I think by the end of the season will be ready to go in the playoffs. The good thing is a) we can definitely beat an team in the field. b) the regualr season will have little impact on the playoffs because it's a 6 team field. The first round bye would be nice but we can manage because we are the youngest team and our stamina is considerably higher.
Whitewater rafting was one of the best experiences in my life. It was definitely a fun group to go with. The camping will have to be planned a little better next time (yes there will be a next time) BUt over all, i am really glad thta it all came together and we got to make the trip. Our guide, Tasha, was pretty cool, and made fun of stephen the whole time, so bonus points in my book!
Work is work, it's been a little less stressful, but mainly because either there was a 3rd shift person so I couldn't stay extra or I haven't been. I work my 40 and go home. it's definitely harder in the summer, because I always have something I want to do. BUt i'll probably be getting into working extended hours a little more here because the money is nice. I still don't know if I'll ever get hired in and that is frustrating! i deserve it, the people I work with tell me that, my boss tells me that, but somewhere in the corporate chain, someone says, can't hire any new people. ARGH! So for now I wait it out.
I'm still looking into CSU, but have found that they like their summer vacation, because people I have called or emailed haven't really gotten back to me. So, i find that process slow moving. but I should be taking 1 course this semester. probably something that fulfills my core classes, because I gotta a couple of those left thanks to CSU's crazy requirements.
And since i like to see who reads my blog, here's a thought. I haven't been able to pick what I want to do with the rest fo my life. So i'm asking advice. What would I be good at?? what do you guys see from me that suggests, yeah, he might be able to do that FOR EVER FOOOOOOOOOOR EVERRRRRRRRR FOOOORRRRRRREVER! Any ideas? let me know! I'll be blogging again soon!
5.05.2006
Content
So, I have to say, i am content. This is probably the most content I've ever been in my life. Maybe good/maybe bad. But the job I have is going all right, it's paying me much more than I've ever made, which is easy living when you are a single bachelor trying to make it on your own. I am happy with who I am. I still am a work in progress, but where I am at at this point excites me. And everything going on in my life makes me happy.
The list:
Softball: Softball will always be numero uno. I couldn' timagine life without it. ok, i can cause I didn't have softball while I was in americorps, and that was hard. If I could, I'd be in two leagues playing 3-4 days a week. As is, I got sundays, and I'm super excited about the team this year! A day without softball is a day without sunshine! You can make fun of me all you want, but it's just something I live for and hope to be doing into my 50s and 60s.
Family & friends: I have a super-duper family! But I've known that all along. WE have a lot of fun together. And I have an awesome network of friends! I'd love to say more, but I feel all that is necessary.
Work: Work isn't where I want to end up with a career, but right now it's a fit. 2nd shift is a little rough at times, but I am getting mor sleep on a regular basis than ever. So that probably helps with my mood. I have some great co-workers and have som eopportunities within the company to keep the prospects up. Upside is always good! And my boss is cool, and treats me fairly and communicates with me as to what's going on. I consider myself lucky in that every job I've had I have had a good boss.
This summer is looking like it'll be huge. Lots of fun to go around. The only component missing will be Ryan. We'll have to wait and see what happens with him vs. Korea.
All right Im' all blogged out. Blogging is a lot like working out. It takes a while to build up your blogging stamina after being away for a while!
The list:
Softball: Softball will always be numero uno. I couldn' timagine life without it. ok, i can cause I didn't have softball while I was in americorps, and that was hard. If I could, I'd be in two leagues playing 3-4 days a week. As is, I got sundays, and I'm super excited about the team this year! A day without softball is a day without sunshine! You can make fun of me all you want, but it's just something I live for and hope to be doing into my 50s and 60s.
Family & friends: I have a super-duper family! But I've known that all along. WE have a lot of fun together. And I have an awesome network of friends! I'd love to say more, but I feel all that is necessary.
Work: Work isn't where I want to end up with a career, but right now it's a fit. 2nd shift is a little rough at times, but I am getting mor sleep on a regular basis than ever. So that probably helps with my mood. I have some great co-workers and have som eopportunities within the company to keep the prospects up. Upside is always good! And my boss is cool, and treats me fairly and communicates with me as to what's going on. I consider myself lucky in that every job I've had I have had a good boss.
This summer is looking like it'll be huge. Lots of fun to go around. The only component missing will be Ryan. We'll have to wait and see what happens with him vs. Korea.
All right Im' all blogged out. Blogging is a lot like working out. It takes a while to build up your blogging stamina after being away for a while!
4.21.2006
One Day at a Time
So, i rarely am inspired to update this, but today, I was feeling lucky! Softball is in full swing, we have our first official practice games on Sunday! That is freaking exciting! Two days away and I cna't even wait. Work is going. And suddenly my inspiration as left me, because I already feel boring.
More to come?
maybe...............maybe not
More to come?
maybe...............maybe not
3.30.2006
A month of self-loathing
Just a quick update:
Internet in the 506 = non-existent
So I bum off my parents way too much. It's 5:30am and I came over while they were sleeping. Waiting for them to wake up and yell at me.
Got stopped by the police the other day. I guess some lady got some warrants attached to my license plate, so i gotta deal with that.
I am officially accepted to CSU, now if i want to sign up for classes is the next step. And most importantly:
Softball starts soon! April 1st is a huge day. picnic and softball my dream!
i'll be back soon
Internet in the 506 = non-existent
So I bum off my parents way too much. It's 5:30am and I came over while they were sleeping. Waiting for them to wake up and yell at me.
Got stopped by the police the other day. I guess some lady got some warrants attached to my license plate, so i gotta deal with that.
I am officially accepted to CSU, now if i want to sign up for classes is the next step. And most importantly:
Softball starts soon! April 1st is a huge day. picnic and softball my dream!
i'll be back soon
2.24.2006
Shallow Hal
It's amazing how shallow I can feel after reading something very profound and deep. I feel like I have nothing in life figured out, but on top of that, that I am not even looking to figure things out. No deep thinking, no grasping at life's greater concepts, no search to truly understand my purpose, and thus the world turns while i feel completely
shallow
shallow
2.23.2006
I like variety
I like to change things up. I try to change the background on my cell phne every couple of weeks. I like to listen to different radio stations every week. I like to do little things like that to change my routine, even in the littlest sense. Change my voicemail message for people to listen to (it's about time to change that) Little habits like that can go along way. I've also noticed just how excited I get over traveling. Just taking my short trip down to Louisville was immensely enjoyable. Just being in the airport waiting for the plane gave me this sense of freedom. It was an awesome trip, and I am glad i made it even though it was short lived (less than 36 hours)
This blog thing has gotten stale, i can't do enough to change it. I can't change what i write about. I mean i think categorically here. About my life and my rants about the world. That's about all I got. I can include sports a little, but that was minimal and only when I was way pumped up on the Indians. Hopefully that will happen again soon! Peace out
This blog thing has gotten stale, i can't do enough to change it. I can't change what i write about. I mean i think categorically here. About my life and my rants about the world. That's about all I got. I can include sports a little, but that was minimal and only when I was way pumped up on the Indians. Hopefully that will happen again soon! Peace out
2.09.2006
Let them mourn
I have been working third shift this week, and it's not so bad because I come home from work and sleep until I wake up. That puts me in a better mood generally, and I'm not always feeling tired. Where is all this energy you're suppose to get from bein gmore active.
Anyway, working third shift has provided me two opportunities. 1) Listen to weird ass radio with predictions for the end of the world. Seriously, stay up one night and listen WTAm 1100 AM after about 2am and you'll here some nutty stuff. I don't even know what it is. I haven't heard any advertisements for the show itself, or even like an annoucement of what show it is, but it's absolutely crazy stuff.
The other is more time to think. Less distractions, not 100 people coming in and out. It's definitely more peaceful and a better work enviroment. I like it, although, when I get sleepy and it's really quiet... trouble, just kidding! I am much more alert and active on 3rd shift than I am on 1st.
Anyway, in following the news I 've heard the story of protesters standing outside soldiers' funerals. I have not heard anything that has infuriated me more. It is truly depressing that people feel the need to express their religious beliefs in an overt, inappropriate manner at a funeral. These parents lost their son, it's never easy to lose a family member, and to me the mourning period directly afterward is much more sacred and religious than any church service. The family is faced to deal with the death, and confront the reasons why and how it works in the grand scheme of things. They are moved closer to God through this experience more so than just about any moment of their lives. To interrupt this physical goodbye and last memorial in the name of God?
Last time I checked God doesn't stand for hate. These protesters are entitled to their opinion, and there has been talk about their First Amendment rights, 'Freedom of Speech'. I don't want to deny them that, but they should have some tact. A) their fight isn't with this soldier or his family. B) There a dozen other sites they could have chosen to express their views. C) any extremism in the name of God is dangerous and easily leads to misguided, blind reasoning.
The Westboro Baptist Church has a website www.godhatesfags.com which lays out their plan, their reasoning, their mission. According to them, a direct quote from the Bible as well, God does Hate. Most of the direct quotes are to the Old Testament, but there are references to the New Testament. They also have a counter for two people. And what does this counter keep track off? How long two people have been in Hell. Now, there is a statement!
That's about all I got. I fully respect these peoples first amendment rights, they are choosing the wrong forum to go through. They are using guerilla tactics to fight the war they want to wage.
They say that blogs are just places of free thought that you can post so that you can be blackmailed later. I'm working my way there!
Anyway, working third shift has provided me two opportunities. 1) Listen to weird ass radio with predictions for the end of the world. Seriously, stay up one night and listen WTAm 1100 AM after about 2am and you'll here some nutty stuff. I don't even know what it is. I haven't heard any advertisements for the show itself, or even like an annoucement of what show it is, but it's absolutely crazy stuff.
The other is more time to think. Less distractions, not 100 people coming in and out. It's definitely more peaceful and a better work enviroment. I like it, although, when I get sleepy and it's really quiet... trouble, just kidding! I am much more alert and active on 3rd shift than I am on 1st.
Anyway, in following the news I 've heard the story of protesters standing outside soldiers' funerals. I have not heard anything that has infuriated me more. It is truly depressing that people feel the need to express their religious beliefs in an overt, inappropriate manner at a funeral. These parents lost their son, it's never easy to lose a family member, and to me the mourning period directly afterward is much more sacred and religious than any church service. The family is faced to deal with the death, and confront the reasons why and how it works in the grand scheme of things. They are moved closer to God through this experience more so than just about any moment of their lives. To interrupt this physical goodbye and last memorial in the name of God?
Last time I checked God doesn't stand for hate. These protesters are entitled to their opinion, and there has been talk about their First Amendment rights, 'Freedom of Speech'. I don't want to deny them that, but they should have some tact. A) their fight isn't with this soldier or his family. B) There a dozen other sites they could have chosen to express their views. C) any extremism in the name of God is dangerous and easily leads to misguided, blind reasoning.
The Westboro Baptist Church has a website www.godhatesfags.com which lays out their plan, their reasoning, their mission. According to them, a direct quote from the Bible as well, God does Hate. Most of the direct quotes are to the Old Testament, but there are references to the New Testament. They also have a counter for two people. And what does this counter keep track off? How long two people have been in Hell. Now, there is a statement!
That's about all I got. I fully respect these peoples first amendment rights, they are choosing the wrong forum to go through. They are using guerilla tactics to fight the war they want to wage.
They say that blogs are just places of free thought that you can post so that you can be blackmailed later. I'm working my way there!
1.31.2006
A refreshing change
So for those who have checked recently noticed this awkward space before my postings. So I decided to try to fix it. Changed the settings, that didn't work, so I changed the template. And it feels good. I like keeping things interesting a fresh, cause things tend to go stale. I try to change the background and phrase on my cell phone every 1-2 weeks. Little stuff like that...
It's amazing what a little tweak in a routine can do to refresh things. Be it at work, just a different task, or doing things in a different order.
My travels on the weekends I find very refreshing and relaxing. An essential part of my mental well being. I hope travel is a regular part of my years. Now, when I'm tied to the ball and chain (if I find someone who will have me), and with the kids. I valuing spending time with family and friends at different locations and also seeing and learning about unique cultures. Each american city has it's own unique culture, some mroe obvious than others. For now my travels are limited to where I have free board.
Short attention span = short post
More to come
It's amazing what a little tweak in a routine can do to refresh things. Be it at work, just a different task, or doing things in a different order.
My travels on the weekends I find very refreshing and relaxing. An essential part of my mental well being. I hope travel is a regular part of my years. Now, when I'm tied to the ball and chain (if I find someone who will have me), and with the kids. I valuing spending time with family and friends at different locations and also seeing and learning about unique cultures. Each american city has it's own unique culture, some mroe obvious than others. For now my travels are limited to where I have free board.
Short attention span = short post
More to come
can I ask for directions?
Where is the roadmap to life? I mean i guess there's the unspoken roadmap
Go to school => go to college => get a job and be successful.
Damn that doesn't work for everybody!
I'm starting to think college is the next step in economic development. It's really quite genius.
Do you know that billions of dollars are spent every year trying to get companies advertisements to influence the young mind of children and adolescents so they make their parents buy them things. Everybody knows beer and sex are what it takes to sell to men, it's even the new diet craze. http://http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/diet.fitness/01/30/diet.nutrisystem.ap/index.html
Anyway, so on top of children demanding their parents spend, they also grow up with these fond associations for McDonald's and The Gap. Now, this isn't revolutionary at all, anyone who has taken a child psychology course knows that's how much companies are spending to get to kids. But think about this... a bunch of CEOs conspiring in an underground cave around a well-lit round table tossing out ideas of "How can we get these dependent kids to make their parents spend MORE money?"
Quiet sinister looking guy in the back
"How about we depend they extend their dependence. We'll make high school go looooooooooooooonger. Charge exorbinant amounts of money, tell them they are bettering themselves!"
That's it! It's over! NO, higher education isn't new in anyway shape or form, BUT to convince so many that it is so necessary to make money. I mean students are throwing themselves into tens of thousands of dollars in debt without really thinking it through. Their parents encourage them to go to college because in their time, college was rare, people actually had to think to get through college. Nowadays you are screwed if you don't get a college degree ( i know from experience) but those that do have college degrees are also finding that their degree is becoming more and more meaningless. So, what do you have to do?? Grad school! 4 more years! 4 more years! Grad school is setup to help the students become more independent from their parents, but still getting that money. So I'm beginning to think that the only thing keeping us away from another black tuesday is college education. Keeps the financial juices flowing
Now, you may look at this as a bitter drop out just shaking his fist at the institution, but I'm not really so mad at the colleges. go capitalism! I'm more angry at myself for letting myself believe I was ready for college out of high school. FOr not being aware enough to fully realize what college was all about. I fully intend on getting my degree, it's just going to be on my own schedule, and when I know what I am doing.
College isn't a bad thing, it's actually helping us move towards a more enlightened america! I can not wait for the up and coming generation to sift into politics and high ranking business positions because I think that this awareness will help start a revolution against all the corruption and special interests that have taken control of the U.S.
So, i think we need to take a harder look at who we are sending to college and help better prepare students for the financial realities of life after college!
***Random side note***
It is unfortunate that this best selling author lied about the events in his book, and it's unfortunate that Oprah had to go through that ordeal, but let's be honest, fact or fiction, 2 million readers means it's a damn good book! So instead of a memoir it's a good fiction story loosely based on the author's experiences. Get over it! People have told worse lies!
Go to school => go to college => get a job and be successful.
Damn that doesn't work for everybody!
I'm starting to think college is the next step in economic development. It's really quite genius.
Do you know that billions of dollars are spent every year trying to get companies advertisements to influence the young mind of children and adolescents so they make their parents buy them things. Everybody knows beer and sex are what it takes to sell to men, it's even the new diet craze. http://http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/diet.fitness/01/30/diet.nutrisystem.ap/index.html
Anyway, so on top of children demanding their parents spend, they also grow up with these fond associations for McDonald's and The Gap. Now, this isn't revolutionary at all, anyone who has taken a child psychology course knows that's how much companies are spending to get to kids. But think about this... a bunch of CEOs conspiring in an underground cave around a well-lit round table tossing out ideas of "How can we get these dependent kids to make their parents spend MORE money?"
Quiet sinister looking guy in the back
"How about we depend they extend their dependence. We'll make high school go looooooooooooooonger. Charge exorbinant amounts of money, tell them they are bettering themselves!"
That's it! It's over! NO, higher education isn't new in anyway shape or form, BUT to convince so many that it is so necessary to make money. I mean students are throwing themselves into tens of thousands of dollars in debt without really thinking it through. Their parents encourage them to go to college because in their time, college was rare, people actually had to think to get through college. Nowadays you are screwed if you don't get a college degree ( i know from experience) but those that do have college degrees are also finding that their degree is becoming more and more meaningless. So, what do you have to do?? Grad school! 4 more years! 4 more years! Grad school is setup to help the students become more independent from their parents, but still getting that money. So I'm beginning to think that the only thing keeping us away from another black tuesday is college education. Keeps the financial juices flowing
Now, you may look at this as a bitter drop out just shaking his fist at the institution, but I'm not really so mad at the colleges. go capitalism! I'm more angry at myself for letting myself believe I was ready for college out of high school. FOr not being aware enough to fully realize what college was all about. I fully intend on getting my degree, it's just going to be on my own schedule, and when I know what I am doing.
College isn't a bad thing, it's actually helping us move towards a more enlightened america! I can not wait for the up and coming generation to sift into politics and high ranking business positions because I think that this awareness will help start a revolution against all the corruption and special interests that have taken control of the U.S.
So, i think we need to take a harder look at who we are sending to college and help better prepare students for the financial realities of life after college!
***Random side note***
It is unfortunate that this best selling author lied about the events in his book, and it's unfortunate that Oprah had to go through that ordeal, but let's be honest, fact or fiction, 2 million readers means it's a damn good book! So instead of a memoir it's a good fiction story loosely based on the author's experiences. Get over it! People have told worse lies!
1.19.2006
Craaaaaaaaaaaap!!!
I had this post going about work and i was two paragraphs into it when something weird happen. It disappeared, so I don't know. It's hard enough to come up with stuff to write about let alone try to rewrite it when it disappears. I want to throw something! Good anger management skills!
HAPPY 86th BIRTHDAY GRAMMA!
Work is rough at 6am. THe lady I am training with is constantly making fun of my zombie like behavior. I think I am only fully awake after lunch. I take a nap during morning break, and generally just don't talk until afternoon. I try to pay attention but the attention span is seriously affected by sleep deprivation. I am working on going to bed early! (i swear I am going to bed after i write this) It's gotten a little better, but I'm also combing that at the same time as running on a consistent basis and that just makes me even more tired. BUt also I need to find something I can eat in the morning twinkies and cupcakes aren't working well. Yogurt maybe? Fruit goes bad too fast. I don't know, I'd love a little steak and eggs, but no way in hell am I waking up earlier than 30 minutes before I have to be at work.
I am defintely acting more like an "adult" trying to get into a routine. But I know as soon as I get too comfortable I'm going to want to do something spontaneous or just different to show that I am not stuck to my routine. I hope I get vacation at work!
HAPPY 86th BIRTHDAY GRAMMA!
Work is rough at 6am. THe lady I am training with is constantly making fun of my zombie like behavior. I think I am only fully awake after lunch. I take a nap during morning break, and generally just don't talk until afternoon. I try to pay attention but the attention span is seriously affected by sleep deprivation. I am working on going to bed early! (i swear I am going to bed after i write this) It's gotten a little better, but I'm also combing that at the same time as running on a consistent basis and that just makes me even more tired. BUt also I need to find something I can eat in the morning twinkies and cupcakes aren't working well. Yogurt maybe? Fruit goes bad too fast. I don't know, I'd love a little steak and eggs, but no way in hell am I waking up earlier than 30 minutes before I have to be at work.
I am defintely acting more like an "adult" trying to get into a routine. But I know as soon as I get too comfortable I'm going to want to do something spontaneous or just different to show that I am not stuck to my routine. I hope I get vacation at work!
1.16.2006
And the beat goes on
Sometimes I think I'm crazy
Like when I start twitching and shouting obscenities. Well, i haven't really done that, but i gotta question my own sanity sometimes. And that's where you help! If I write a crazy blog (note: last blog was definitely in that range) you gotta let me know. You gotta say 'Hey man! That's crazy talk! YOu are started to sound three sheets past the wind?' Cause I think i can be crazy sometimes. And I just need to be reminded. OR maybe I think I'm crazy and I'm not being crazy? yes/no? THis is hard for me to judge. I try to judge my actions as objective as possible, but some things, you gotta rely on other people for. So if i do sound crazy leave a note, give me a call, anything
the last week has been good. I've been focuising on getting to the gym. And spending quality time with people. I've gotten to spend more time with Erin, which I always enjoy, but it is very sporadic. Depends on how busy her schedule is and what kind of mood she is in. Finally worked out that she could come to sunday night dinner! That was an excellent time had by all. And softball is officially a project. Let the games begin! Financing and registering to play are first, roster selection is next, then pulling together all the resources we need for the season. Before I know it, I'll be hearing "Play ball!" So my life continues, and I think i'll write about the interesting stuff that has been happening at work lately. Adios for now!
Like when I start twitching and shouting obscenities. Well, i haven't really done that, but i gotta question my own sanity sometimes. And that's where you help! If I write a crazy blog (note: last blog was definitely in that range) you gotta let me know. You gotta say 'Hey man! That's crazy talk! YOu are started to sound three sheets past the wind?' Cause I think i can be crazy sometimes. And I just need to be reminded. OR maybe I think I'm crazy and I'm not being crazy? yes/no? THis is hard for me to judge. I try to judge my actions as objective as possible, but some things, you gotta rely on other people for. So if i do sound crazy leave a note, give me a call, anything
the last week has been good. I've been focuising on getting to the gym. And spending quality time with people. I've gotten to spend more time with Erin, which I always enjoy, but it is very sporadic. Depends on how busy her schedule is and what kind of mood she is in. Finally worked out that she could come to sunday night dinner! That was an excellent time had by all. And softball is officially a project. Let the games begin! Financing and registering to play are first, roster selection is next, then pulling together all the resources we need for the season. Before I know it, I'll be hearing "Play ball!" So my life continues, and I think i'll write about the interesting stuff that has been happening at work lately. Adios for now!
1.11.2006
Gray as Ash
My life was ruined by fairy tales. I watching disney movies and read a lot of good books! And they were all great. I absorbed them a little too well. I have a very vivid imagination and I think it made my childhood a wonderful world of play. Unfortunately, i created such a fantasty world, i've fooled myself into thinking the real world was the same. The happy endings, finding the princess, slaying the dragon, saving the day. All too cliche. But I was wholly convinced good always triumphed over evil. I would say high school was when it all started going down hill.
Not only just being more aware of the actual world, school started to change my perception. The reading began to show shades of gray. Everything wasn't so black and white. High school was just the beginning, I would say I was still able to find the good in the world, but started to see how everything didn't work out for the best. People had to make choices, and at times, the choices were destructive. 'Good' people making bad choices and 'Bad' people making good choices. Even that labeling was invalidated. Which is for the best, because labels are never good, but this was an invasion on my world. I was so unawares. I think one of the things that kept the fairy tale alive for me was my high school sweetheart. I was still able to convince myself that the good guy gets the girl, and there are still happy endings. The world can stay shaded, while I still carry the dream of a ahppy ending in my heart.
College was a rude awakening. It started with a broken heart and ended with a miserable exit. Everything in between is a big blur real. I went through a 'dark age' where punk music enticed me (that's about as dark as I got) I became jaded towards the institution, college, my education became the enemy. Fortunately for me, no matter how bad I felt it got I still had a strong network of family and friends to rely on. And really it was more of an attitude and view on life more than anything. Everything became so gray to the point it was bland. Nothing excited me, everything lost it's value. I didn't see life, love, happiness the same way. Considered it unattainable. Riding a teeter-totter of emotion i made it through 3 years of college. It getting progressively harder as i needed to prepare myself to face the real world. I cracked under the pressure and had to withdraw my first semester senior year. That was the bottom of the pit for me. Coming home helped, i was instantly removed from the pressure of school work and social expectations I was beginning to dread. It was still hard but I found more of a spark. I pretty much did nothing for 10 months, until I fell into AmeriCorps.
AmeriCorps is a fairy tale in itself. A new age fairy tale. One full of government bullshit and politically correctness.
AmeriCorps was in short amazing. Getting a chance to do the work I did, travel, and help everyone was such a huge lift. I will not trade any one of those months no matter how much I hated going through it at the time. Making the friends I did and seeing everything I did is an experience I would recommend to everyone and never relinquish. It restored my faith in goodness.
Since AmeriCorps I have bumbled around, trying to find my feet. And while I still am jaded towards fairy tales. I am also coming to terms with what it is to be 'good' and being a 'hero' I just want a taste of the glory days. Go back to a simpler time. Find some color is this drab world the took away my childhood. So, i plod through day for day looking for the happiness i dropped somewhere along the path. No breadcrumb trail, no fairy godmother, no princess charming. Just a blind search and a quest to become the man I want to and find the happily ever after...
Not only just being more aware of the actual world, school started to change my perception. The reading began to show shades of gray. Everything wasn't so black and white. High school was just the beginning, I would say I was still able to find the good in the world, but started to see how everything didn't work out for the best. People had to make choices, and at times, the choices were destructive. 'Good' people making bad choices and 'Bad' people making good choices. Even that labeling was invalidated. Which is for the best, because labels are never good, but this was an invasion on my world. I was so unawares. I think one of the things that kept the fairy tale alive for me was my high school sweetheart. I was still able to convince myself that the good guy gets the girl, and there are still happy endings. The world can stay shaded, while I still carry the dream of a ahppy ending in my heart.
College was a rude awakening. It started with a broken heart and ended with a miserable exit. Everything in between is a big blur real. I went through a 'dark age' where punk music enticed me (that's about as dark as I got) I became jaded towards the institution, college, my education became the enemy. Fortunately for me, no matter how bad I felt it got I still had a strong network of family and friends to rely on. And really it was more of an attitude and view on life more than anything. Everything became so gray to the point it was bland. Nothing excited me, everything lost it's value. I didn't see life, love, happiness the same way. Considered it unattainable. Riding a teeter-totter of emotion i made it through 3 years of college. It getting progressively harder as i needed to prepare myself to face the real world. I cracked under the pressure and had to withdraw my first semester senior year. That was the bottom of the pit for me. Coming home helped, i was instantly removed from the pressure of school work and social expectations I was beginning to dread. It was still hard but I found more of a spark. I pretty much did nothing for 10 months, until I fell into AmeriCorps.
AmeriCorps is a fairy tale in itself. A new age fairy tale. One full of government bullshit and politically correctness.
AmeriCorps was in short amazing. Getting a chance to do the work I did, travel, and help everyone was such a huge lift. I will not trade any one of those months no matter how much I hated going through it at the time. Making the friends I did and seeing everything I did is an experience I would recommend to everyone and never relinquish. It restored my faith in goodness.
Since AmeriCorps I have bumbled around, trying to find my feet. And while I still am jaded towards fairy tales. I am also coming to terms with what it is to be 'good' and being a 'hero' I just want a taste of the glory days. Go back to a simpler time. Find some color is this drab world the took away my childhood. So, i plod through day for day looking for the happiness i dropped somewhere along the path. No breadcrumb trail, no fairy godmother, no princess charming. Just a blind search and a quest to become the man I want to and find the happily ever after...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
